Thursday, December 29, 2005

::back to my youth::
I remember well how my grandma would read with me and my sis at night before bedtime. One of the books we read together were the seven books of Narnia. Having read the book and quite fallen in love with the land of Narnia, I really enjoyed watching the movie adaptation. It made me go back all the way to those times reading with grandma.

I'm sure that with the current Hollywood trend of adapting books into movies [*cough*LordoftheRings*cough cough*], there are sure to be plenty of comparisons to the much larger scaled and big budgeted LOTR trilogy. But to me, I think that Narnia whoops some serious ring ass. For one, 3 vs 7. Hah. Take that Tolkien.

But more than that I think that the reason that I have such an affection for the land of Narnia is because of the magic of the imagination. It's not a distant land like Middle Earth is. Narnia is like a dream. It's a place through the wardrobe in the spareroom. That is the magic of Narnia. The thought of going through the wardrobe and into another land is so illogical but is so enchanting.

I'm not trying to convince people that Narnia is better than LOTR. cuz it is not fair to comment on two books in different leagues. Narnia is a children's book. LOTR is not. One look at "The Fellowship of the Ring" is enough to put a child of reading for the rest of his/her life. I think it's rather more of a personal preference and because of my experiences with Narnia that I feel more for Aslan than Elrond.

On a slightly more selfish note, I kinda wished that the movie didn't come out. Narnia used to be somewhere secret which few people knew about. It was like having your own private world. Now that the movie is out, there'll be a lot of Narnia "fans" that don't know of the full world. Of the Silver Chair, Prince Caspian and the rest. So I can only hope that this movie inspires people to pick up the books and start reading. It's truly a magic place waiting to be discovered.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

::good reading::
Check this blog post out.

It's OK to be a bad Christian

*gasp* blasphemy?

au contraire. just read and listen to what he says.

Another interesting piece of reading. "The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody" by Will Cuppy. quite humourous and very good bedside reading [and toilet literature].

Friday, December 23, 2005

::Traditionally a time for tradition::
Aaah. It's that time of the year again. Christmas. Time to dust off old family traditions [and our xmas deco for the hse] and celebrate with family and friends.

Christmas has always been a very big time for my family. I guess we've kinda been the party hse for a very long time. Since before I was born, Christmas dinner has always something that has been held annually at my hse. I'm telling you, for me, it wouldn't be Christmas until I see the tables set up inside my house.

Tradition is not all that bad as many people proclaim it to be. Tradition invokes a real sense of nostalgia that is irreplaceable. For instance, I remember how every year we would go over to the sisters' hse in katong to pick up the Christmas pudding. FYI, the sister's are these Irish nuns that my grandmother knew frm when she was at KC. And they would make Christmas pudding for us every year without fail. I remember going over to pick it up was always a big deal. When we got there, we'd always get fussed over and sister Josephine would always find something to give us. I can still remember the hse very well and the huge garden [and the dogs and the pancakes she made for us one year and the red saga seeds]. And now that they've gone back to Ireland and my grandma to somewhere even better, I really miss those days. We've tried making the pudding ourselves and even bought a pudding once frm the supermarket, but seriously, nothing can match sister Josephine's pudding.

There's also Christmas breakfast. Every year, Uncle Richard and family would come over and we'd all have breakfast together. Sausages, bacon, ham. Stuff that you could get all year round but somehow is more special this time of year. And it was also the time when grandpa would make cocoa for us. It was something special that we always looked forward to. He'd never make cocoa any other time of year cept Christmas and that made it into something of a Christmas treat. Even though I could probably make my own now whenever I want, I don't. It sounds like such a small thing but it really feels different when grandpa makes cocoa for Christmas breakfast.

But by far my favourite Christmas tradition is Christmas dinner at my house. It's not so much abt the food [okay, so what if it is?] but it's about being with family. I meet these people constantly throughout the year but somehow it's different on Christmas cuz we'll all be around one table and we're all there together. Sounds corny, but it really gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. It was also the one time of the year that grandma used to be able to say grace before the meal and I'm pretty sure she actually enjoyed that. It's the third Christmas that we'll spend without her and I'll never get used to not having her around to say grace.

To me, that's what makes Christmas Christmas. I can safely say without any smudge on my conscience that it's not about the presents or the pretty lighting downtown or even the wonderful food that will be on the table at Christmas dinner. It's about the time well spent with family. I'm sure that after a few years you won't even remember what was on the table at dinner but you'd remember how someone vomited blue, or singing carols together, or the year that we poured too much brandy on the pudding and everyone was happy.

Christmas is a happy time. Both in the religious and the modern aspect of the holiday. So cheers to happy memories and to many happy ones to come.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

::of all the seven deadly sins::

Sloth is the one I'm most susceptable to. I tend to prefer to laze around instead of doing something that I'm supposed to be doing or want to be doing.
Today, I attempt to defeat my old nemesis. I have finally cleared up my blog a little [a very little]. Small but a victory none the less.

In the process, I have discovered that many of the people that I linked up once upon a time have lost interest or grown out of blogging. To many, blogging is just another passing fad, but to me it's become something slightly more without causing a total lifestyle change. It's more like a wall where I can bounce my ideas and experiences off. My blog is like having someone just listen to you. Neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Just listening.




okay. enough joshing around. i finally got my own iPod. i went for the 30GB Video instead of the 4GB nano and it really turned out to be a good buy. went over to fawwaz's place yest to load up on songs cuz my com doesn't wanna open iTunes. woah. we really crammed quite alot of stuff in there in one afternoon that i'm sure wouldn't have been able to fit into the nano.
usually i hate it when i'm wrong. this time, it's different

Monday, December 12, 2005

::i'm leaving::
waaah. cannot tahan le. think i'm just gonna leave the job at tangs. not worth it at all. hrmm. but cannot leave yet. my mom wants to use up my limit on staff discounts first. haha. oh wells.
yes. finally i have enough cash to buy my own iPod. haha. dun have to borrow le. going for the nano. think that it shd be sufficient for my usage lar. i don't wanna pay for 20GB when i don't think that i'll use all of it.
quite bored really. don't have much to blog abt but i just don't like leaving the place stagnant for too long.
cheers.

Friday, December 02, 2005

::my feet hurt::
good golly. standing up for ten hours a day is really not easy at all. my feet hurt like i've never felt it hurt before. i think that this is even more brutal than playing matches. at least matches only last for abt an hour. sheesh. more brutal than a rugby match. who would have thought.
i think that most of my life now is work. takes up pretty much my whole day. and when i get off duty, most of the time [okay, all of the time] i head straight home to the comforts of my room.
but despite all the complaints i have, i still think that it beats staying at home bored to death the whole day. plus i get some cash [which i desperately need]. so that pretty much makes up for the stress of being a temp service crew member. not waiter. that's so politically incorrect. tsk tsk.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

::first day::
what a first day. naah. don't think that it was that tough. but i'm just not used to it yet. give me a while to get into the swing and it'll be just fine. but i seriously need to get another pair of black pants. the one i'm wearing is a little tight. i'll go shopping after work today.

Monday, November 28, 2005

::soooo goddamn pissed::
what the hell lar. my dad went to go and reinstall windows AGAIN. reset the whole blooming computer. now all my files are all over the computer and I have no idea where they are. to top it off, all my links are now lost so I don't have anybody's blog links, my own fav links, etc. aaaarrrggghh. within the past half an hour I have used all the filthy language that i have learn in my ten years in the singapore education system.
and you know what pisses me off the most. he did it to get rid of some sypware that got onto our computer. but after he goes and resets the whole bleeding computer, IT'S STILL THERE. so what is the blooming point. argh. so infuriating. this is the man, my father, that refuses to buy a proper anti-virus cum anti-spyware program off the market and prefers to rely on free software off the net. the fucking software he downloads is probably what is installing the spyware. but nooooooo. he refuses to get anything legitimate if it means taking cash outta his wallet. i've heard of being thrifty but this is seriously ridiculous. instead he prefers to spend many a sleepless night redoing the computer and causing a hell of alot of problems, not just for himself, but also for me and my sis.
now, just when i've got my profile on the computer all personalised and to my liking, i have to go and redo EVERYTHING. that means backing up all my pictures, music, vids, etc. also, i have to redownload all the programs that previously downloaded, i.e. MSN MSGr, Winamp, iTunes, etc. after all that's done. i still have to go and try and relocate all my missing links [which i have more or less given up on recovering].
plus, to further add to the pile of shit, this is not the first time that he's done it. so to add to all the confusion, there are multiple copies of stuff that he backed up from the past few times that he's done it. so i have like three or four copies of the same file. not only is that taking up space on the hard drive [that he has been nagging me and my sis to clear up] but also it makes it ten times more confusing when i try to back up my files cuz i don't know if i have already got a certain file backed up.
this is really like some S&M shit. he's asking for it himself. if only he'll get some proper anti-virus. it just costs 50-60 bucks and now that my sis is in uni, she gets a discount on software so it's even cheaper....!! so what is he waiting for.





forget it. i give up. i'm resigned to my fate. i'm just going to burn everything onto a DVD-R.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

::ready to order, sir?::
after a week of hardcore training to try and get myself back in shape, i still think that i'm super unfit. just finished the M1 tens tournament with the year ones and my body is still recovering. we finished respectably as the plate runners up. another fourth place medal to add to my trophy case. i really enjoyed playing again. the match atmosphere is something that really cannot be described. lost only two of our five games, which is a pretty decent win-loss ratio.

loba got me a job at tangs which has pretty decent pay lar. shall not disclose it online. i'll be starting next tues at the Island Cafe 4th floor of Tangs. come visit yeah. will be in service staff i.e. waiter. can't complain yeah. money is money.

seriously, besides that my life is boring. haha. i know that i've been going on about how i'll be free and easy after the As, but now that the As are over i have no idea what to do with myself. i don't have much cash so i can't go out everyday kinda thing [and i'm too lazy to anyway]. then i also dun like slacking around at home. what am i to do?

Saturday, November 19, 2005

::that's it. i'm out::
aw man. i've been waiting for this for a long time. it's been roughly three full days since the As have ended but i'm just getting down to writing this "celebratory" post. have been spending the past few days going out, having fun and training. haha. basically so far i've been enjoying the freedom of not having to stress myself out for the As.

it's really a good thing to be able to live carefree as least for a while before i don my green uniform. think that after the two years of slogging it out i deserve the break that i didn't get after the Os. haha. i'm still sore abt that.

on a slightly more serious note. i'm worried abt alot of things but mainly my math. i have never been very mathematically inclined so i'm not sure if the rather last minute refresher that i went through would be enough to get me cleanly past the As.

but i think i've reached a sort of nirvana. i believe that no matter what result i get, i'm gonna be alright with it and i'm pretty sure that if worse comes to worse, i won't be back in nanyang taking it again. not that i don't like nanyang. it's just that i don't wanna have to go thru that again.

in hindsight, i don't know if going to JC was the best decision. it wasn't a wrong desicion by all means, just maybe it wasn't really right for me. but i'm through it now and i think i've come out a better person for it.

i'm back in training with the team. well at least for a little while. will be playing next tues at YCK 3pm fyi. it's nice to be able to come back to the situation without the stress of having the goal of the A divs in my mind although now there is a slightly different pressure on NY to perform after we achieved 4th.

well. D&D's coming. and i don't have an idea what i'm gonna be wearing. i've got abt two weeks to go shopping though.

i think that not having to exercise my brain is having a few adverse effects. first of all i'm not really putting the ideas in my head into full coherent sentences and all my "points" are not really being fully expressed 'cept in real short two sentence paragraphs. need some way to keep my mind working but at the same time i wanna just zone out. aargh. the new pressures. but it sorta seems that i'm putting that pressure on myself. and now i'm babbling. god. this is lame.

i shd prob be out there looking for work. but i guess i'm just a bit lazy. think i'll just wait for the tens to be over on tues then i'll be clear to commit my time elsewhere. have to take care of one thing at a time.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

::new addition::
i know i'm not supposed to be back til the end of the As but i can't help it.
there's been a new addition to the family. born last friday, 4th november, at roughly 1815h.
like all proud parents, baby elijah's parents [his mom's my 2nd cousin. or is it 3rd. can never remember these things] has to satisfy their need to show off their little one. thank god for the internet. sheesh. new age parents.

http://elijahng.blogspot.com


so who says blogging is just a self-indulgent exercise in ego-inflation. when joy is shared, two people are happy. the more happy people there are, the more joy there is to go around. babies are indeed a blessing. now if you say that isn't the sweetest face you've ever seen, you're lying.

Monday, October 31, 2005

::taking a break::
i'll be taking a big break from blogging for a while. have to finish my As but i'll be back as soon as that's done.

meanwhile. big news. my dog's not a wimp. hrm. okay so it doesn't sound like much. but yeah. it is to me.
lemme explain. see. this morning when i woke up i went to check the computer like i always do and then i hear this hellova noise coming frm my garden. squeaks and barks. i look out the window and see my dog standing over a dead rat. my dog actually hunted down and killed the rat that's been eating from the big sack of dog food that we keep.
went down to gardens after that to buy him some of those dentaclean bones to reward him [and to clean his teeth]. proud of the fella.
oooh.

so that's about all the new happening in my life. boring i know. but i'll be back on the 16th nov hopefully with much more life in me after the bleeding As are over.

i bid thee a fond farewell.
cheers.

Friday, October 21, 2005

::sadomasochism::
by definition. it means to find pleasure in inflicting physical or mental pain on others OR ON ONESELF.
man. I think I have like this total SM fetish. can't believe that I keep going back to sneak a peek when she's long gone. just find myself browsing around then I just go click on her profile. aaah forget it. it's nothing. just haven't got everything totally outta my system. everything'll be fine soon. just can't forget that beach in changi. my wish on the shooting star we saw tgr didn't come true. well. not fully anyway. she's happy.


::road map to world domination::
okay. so maybe I'll stop just shy of world domination but it'll sure feel like I own the world after I accomplish my goals.


things to do after As:
-get a job
-get my bike license
-get my bike [the obvious next thing to do after I get my license]
-take up photography more seriously instead of trying to make shots off my digicam look good. hopeless task.
-do my time [BMT not jail]
-apply for WSO in the airforce
-try for the airforce scholarships to local uni
-complete my bond with the airforce
-NIE
-teaching. the noble profession


just decided. I've got my heart set on the Aprilia 125RS. suh-weet I'm telling you. getting my license shd be manageable in between working and the job'll pay for the license and bike [hopefully. if I can get good enough pay. anyone with lobang must share yah].

the photography thing is a real good side project. I've always wanted to like go to some far off place all by myself and just snap away. explore the world. share what I've seen with everyone back home and hopefully a much wider audience.

I think the easiest things on my list are the first four. the rest is really not fully in my control. the airforce thing. it's not for my to decide but I'm just working so that I get a good enough A lvl cert to be in the running to get the WSO posting. but the NIE thing is really something that I'd like. hope to teach phys in sec sch. that's been kinda like the goal for some time but I just lost the target for a while.

sure laugh now. bong in the airforce? bong teaching? don't look down on me ppl. I'll get there somehow.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

::irritant::
he's like a nauseating cake of raunchy buzzard barf.
worse than a frantic stack of cute stomach acid.
a rat-faced mound of foreign navel lint would be insulted if i compared it it him.
i've never met such a bad breathed bowl of soppy turkey puke. then i met him.
totally creepy shovel-full of fermenting monkey zits.
unbelievably despicable toilet-full of old hippo vomit.
he's just an uncultivated sack of noxious nose hair who is more brainless than a toilet-full of freeze-dried puke lumps.
he is a ridiculous shovel-full of dusky dog phlegm.
he's a crooked excuse for fresh stable sweepings.

in short. he's a bastard with a hyperinflated ego and a holier-than-thou attitude to anybody and everybody that he may encounter. 19 words that thoroughly describe him.

i don't see why he has to go around picking fights without any provocation. he just has the unique ability to make my blood boil. in my 18 of life on this planet i can safely say that i have never met someone more irritating than him. he's even more irritating than a scab which gets so itchy before it's ready to be peeled off. for lack of better words. i don't think very well when i'm cheesed off.
seriously. i don't often take to disliking ppl and even more seldom do i declare that i hate someone. but boy. he's getting real close to being one of the select few.
if only i could take him on one-on-one. oh man. that'll be a real good day for me. can't believe that anyone could be as obnoxious and as self-centered as he is. it just seems so incredible to me. overall, i like to see people as having some good in them no matter how "bad" they are. but i just cannot see the good in him. god. makes me feel evil just thinking that but i swear it's true.

Monday, October 17, 2005

::piling up::
stuffs getting more and more hectic. got lots of revision stuff to do and a very little time to do it in. oh wells. just wish that I could take the bloody As right now cuz I don't think that I'm gonna get any better results even if I do all the revision stuff that the sch gave.
I have a lot of stuff to do when the As are over. get a job. get my license. get my bike. there's of course music for me to explore. most impt of course is to get a job. else I won't be able to finance the other stuff. plus there is plenty of other stuff that I wanna do.
whatever results I get I'm just gonna see what I can do with it. and if I can't get into the uni, I'll just think of something. maybe get a full time job and do my As privately. it'll be tough but I think it will be much more fulfilling than muggin in sch like this. it's never the end of the world when you get bad results.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

::end of the road?::
i think that almost every single J2 in s'pore will soone be posting about their graduation and stuff. so i'm gonna be diff. i'm not gonna blabber on about now i'm going to miss everyone and stuff.
wtf. nobody's dying you fools. you just won't be spending the whole day in school with them. cuz everyone will be out in town having fun after the As. dumb nuts.
can't wait til the As are over.


[btw. i know that you all prob looked up to check out the comma thing in my last post. don't worry. i won't tell.]

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

::blogger's block::
don't like leaving my blog idle for such a long time but at the same time I don't know what to blog about. wierd eh?
so what am I going to do about it. I'm just gonna come here and type whatever comes to my mind.
.,.



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hey. give me a break. I'm sleepy. I'm not thinking right.

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how about a little lightbulb joke.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb.

A: One. But the light bulb must be willing to change....!!

okay fine. don't look at me like that. I know it's not that funny but yeah. I try.

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hah! betcha didn't notice. in the middle of the first row of dots on this page there was a comma.

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[awkward silence]

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I think I shd leave

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

::sit back and reminisce::
just random memories of my life.

my grandmother was such a great person. my sis and I used to go outside and pick these flowers that used to grow on the slope outside my house. actually it was more of a weed but the flower itself was nice. we'd compete to see who could pick a bigger bunch for grandma and we'd tie it up with a rubber band and give it to her. it was totally fugly but she always smelt it, said that it was so pretty and give both of us a kiss. she never did say who won.

my parents are divorced and I live with my dad. so when I was younger every once a month, my mom would come over and take us out. we'd go shopping or visiting relatives or catch a movie but no matter where we were, we'd always stop by the A&Ws at AMK to get some curly fries. it was like a ritual. now I see her a lot more often and i'm thankful for that. but sometimes I just wanna go back to when I was small. yah know. blissful ignorance and curly fries.

my dad was, and still is, quite obsessed with work. total workaholic. I remember there was a time that I didn't even feel close to him at all. 'cuz when he wasn't at work, he'd be in his room reading his books. but then there was a change. sometimes just out of the blue he'd come up to my sis and I and just go,"wanna watch a movie?". at first it was like "are you serious?" but yeah. we went. would always go to the cinema at northpoint and I remember him always asking us after the movie which was our favourite part. and we'd sit and laugh at the BK.



it's strange how often things turn out for the best even when you think that nothing could make it right. sometimes it's not a matter of whether you can or cannot fix a situation. cuz very often you can't. in those times, it's just learning how to work around the problem. i have a plan for my life. i finally know what i want to do. hopefully it's not too late and i pray that nothing gets in my way.

Friday, September 30, 2005

::overheard in a macdonalds::

How did the elephant get stuck in a fridge?
It went in to get some food and got stuck.
Lion, king of the jungle, summoned all the animals to his palace and all came except one.
Which one and why?

The elephant. Cuz it was still stuck in the fridge.

There were five cats on a ship. One of them jumped off. How many cats were left?
None. Cuz they were copycats.

Why, at a birthday party, the pinata did not break even after many hits?
_____________________________________________

The family left before the kid could tell her mom the answer. It's bugging me.
Why the fucking hell didn't the pinata break....
::last stretch::
C E F C6
not too bad considering my performance over the year and definately an improvement from the midyrs. quite happy about my C for physics. of course who wouldn't after being a bottom feeder for like almost two years. plus i think nick ngern is really scared now. haha. his top dog status was threatened when i scored higher than him for paper three. haha. no offense ngern. you're a nice guy. but i'm out to get you.
although i didn't achieve my main goal for prelims [that is to beat ngern in phys] i think that it was a pretty good result for me. of course if i get that for the real thing i'd be looking around for the tallest building in serangoon but it's a good start.
i really need a lot of help for my maths. hate the subject. it's the bane of my existence. the worm in my apple. the crap in my toilet. the ink clot in my printer. the one string out of tune on my guitar. but i don't have a choice do i.
at least it's not half a worm. toilets can be flushed. i can always buy a new ink cartridge and what are tuning pegs for?

Monday, September 26, 2005

::hold my head up high::
finally I have something to be darn proud of. I managed to score pretty high for my phys paper three. I'm hoping, praying that my paper one and two don't burst my bubble. I really need something like this now to motivate me. finally I'm getting some kinda reward for the effort that I've been putting it. plus it's a major ego boost. haha.
hey. I'm not some kinda ego maniac that thrives on the admiration [or supposed admiration] of others. but yeah. isn't it nice having something like that so give ya a bit of confidence.
okay okay. back down to earth. I kinda didn't do that well for econs. I got an AO pass again. exactly like the mid yrs. with almost the exact same score. amazing, no?
consistency? I hope not. I DO NOT wanna get that kinda marks for As. meanwhile maths is prob gonna be another flop. I've got maths tutorial first thing tmr morning. ah leong is prob gonna skin me alive lar. but yeah. I have decided to look forward and work to the As. and not to let this prelim result get me down. noble isn't it?
this weeks been pretty good for me. been relaxing for a bit before I really start pushing gears to study for As.


::aaaarggh!!::
hrm. dunnoe why. but i get such pleasure outta watching happy tree friends. haha. it's totally sadistic lar. but it's so fun. oh man. bong's going nuts. been watching a few south park episodes too. just as funny.
cannot imagine that in a few weeks we'll be leaving sch soon. the yr twos officially leave sch on the 12th of Oct. hrm. only sank in when ys starting singing that stupid Vitamin C Graduation song thingy. haha. that song is like dusted off once a year, played til everyone's sick of it and then tossed back on the shelf. man. that song has really lost all meaning. and seriously speaking, i'm totally numb to it. i mean. in the states graduation is a real big thing cuz after that everyone goes their own way in a big BIG country. ya might not see your high sch pals again. but in s'pore, how far can anyone go. it's like even up til today i see some of my sec sch friends when i'm walking around town. heck. my JC is chock full of ppl from my primary school. what's the big deal about graduation. it's just the end of one stage of life and the beginning of another.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

::American Tragedy?::

How much of a natural disaster was Katrina? In my eyes it was more of a human disaster. it was a American tragedy as Time magazine put it. but could all this have been avoided. now everyone's prob thinking bong's gone off the deep end. totally nutjob. how could anyone stop a hurricane from slamming into southern USA.
i'm not talking about moving the hurricane out of the way. i was thinking more on the lines of moving the people out of the way of the hurricane. much simpler job of you think about it. researchers knew it was coming. they warned of unthinkable damage to new orleans. like modern day cassandras, they were largely ignored.

not just before the hurricane but also after it passed, the American handling of the entire situation was CRAP. god save me from gaining millions of friends around the world, but the Bush administration has a lot of serious reflection ahead. bureaucracy taken to the max. the many layers of government make it sure easy to govern a large coutry like the US but it is not flexible enough to handle emergencies. there's the city officials, state government then the federal government. by the time decisions that need to be made on the ground pass hands from one fat government lackey to another, lives WILL be lost.

the world has seen a developed "first-world" country fall to their knees in the wake of one of mother natures toys. the land of plenty is now looking to others for aid. president bush actually giving a list of what they need. egoistic? definately. america is fast running out of friends that they can turn to. cowboy bush's whatever attitude towards the UN over the whole iraq debacle has prob got a few coutries wondering quis custodiet ipsos custodes? who watches the watchman? what is the use of the international community if cowboy here doesn't give a damn about their opinion.

as rita, recently reclassified as a category 5 hurricane, bears down on texas, one can only hope that the human disaster of katrina has taught somebody something about disaster handling. of course, it might just be that the good ol' texan cowboy in the oval office doesn't want his ranch messed up but i think that texas will turn out much better than new orleans did.

hrm. did you know that texas is one of the biggest producers of crude oil in the US. if it's oil producing capacity drops it'll be murder on the dancefloor for already sky high oil prices. Hah! take that to all you SUV-driving, petrol-drinking, road-hogging, show-offish bastards.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

::the horror, the truama. years of therapy can't fix this::
logged on the blogger.com one day to find EVERYTHING in chinese. those of you who know me well enough should know the hate-hate relationship i have with chinese [in particular chinese teachers]. you can't possible imagine the agony i have been through just trying to write a letter to the people at blogger support. clicking aimlessly til i found the right link. the chinese is not the simplified chinese that we learn in sch but the traditional one with alot of funny looking characters which just compounded the whole situation into a gigantic mess. at least if it was in simplified chinese i do believe that i would be able to find my way around. i think.

::thank God for the music::
i swear if it wasn't for my mp3s i would go crazy everytime i go online.
oh man. atreyu has just become my favourite band. okay second. i still think that bleed the dream is that good.
but in particular i have begun to idolise the atreyu guitarist. he is nothing short of amazing. okay. before everything starts sounding gay. i don't idolise HIM as much as his playing. such technique, such style. and he's not like all goth dressed in black with mascara and black eye shadow. he's like just this ordinary looking guy [although ordinary guys don't usually play for world famous bands per se]. his solos completely rock.

::yet more trauma::
prelims will be over next monday. that leaves slightly less than one and a half months before the real thing. and i really don't know if i'll be able to make up for the time that i have lost basically stoning. i know it is really boring for people to read this. but that's what's really worrying me now. the road after JC is hazy if not completely invisible with the only thing being sure is national service. what is a guy to do.

Friday, September 09, 2005

::twelve o'clock high::
it's noon and i just woke up. splitting headache cuz of some stupid bug that got into my room last night. it made this constant shrill noise the whole night. and you know how these bugs are. you can never locate the source of the sound cuz in the small confines of my room, the sound bounces everywhere. so i slpt the night with a pillow over my head trying desperately to drown it out.
oh man. i just found out that michelle rodriguez is in the second season of lost. haha. so hot.


i'm hungry.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

::time out::
taking some time off my phys to come write a bit.
got tuition on saturday morning [how boring] and still have quite a bit of hw to do. but yeah. all in good time.

You're Lost, You're Crazy by Big D and the Kids Table
a little bit ska kinda music. its totally catchy beats and really fun sounds got it into my playlist. although a bit short it's still a really good song that deserves to be played over and over again.
* * * 3/5 stars

Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
Sam jie. you're right. this song really grows on you. it's now regularly played on my winamp. carolyn likes it too. Hide and Seek has a very interesting sound that doesn't really place it into any of the broader genres but it has a really endearing quality that really caught me.
* * * * 4/5 stars

Sarcastic Farewell by Bleed the Dream
they're like my current favourite band so there might be some bias to my ratings. but seriously, they're real good. this is one of my favourties from them. the drum intro is really cool. and matched up with some real cool riffs on the guitar, this song is a real heavywieght. it's off their EP Awake available at HVM Heeren.
* * * * * 5/5 stars

Bend your Arms to Look Like Wings by Funeral for a Friend
very emo in the the intro and some really solid riffs. this song'll really blow you away. i'm not really into them the way i'm into Bleed the Dream but they're definately up there with the rest. check em out.
* * * * 4/5 stars

that's all for now. be back for more later.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

::what happens when you lose a bet::
you take a chair home. hey BX. think i'll be bringing a new chair home on sept 14th.
haha. really cannot do anymore maths. totally sian of it.
anyway. now i'm really like banking on my phys to get my results. have been concentrating more on it. haven't really been doing much econs though. oh man. though i really like econs i just can't score in it. haha. funny right?
you'd think that with an interest in the subject you'd be able to do well in it. wrong!!



...

Friday, September 02, 2005

::Bong's latest concoction::
try this out.

-2 parts orange juice
-1 part vodka
-1 1/2 tablespoons sugar or to taste

mix everything together and shake. don't stir it'll taste gross. shake it til the sugar's dissolved and serve chilled.
an easy and simple little something for making at home. caution though. if you don't really know how to drink, it can be deceptively strong.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

::ouchie::
i really should try and stop myself from playing my guitar. steel strings do simply awful things to your skin. all the fingertips on my left hand are completely calloused and there's skin peeling off of them. so unglam.
but i cant help it!! i just learnt how to play taxi driver and it's sounding pretty good and i'm just soooo stoked about it that i can't stop playing it. argh. addiction.
need to get out of the house. i just can't study here. there's so many distractions like the comp, my guitar, tv, etc. i'm supposed to be doing maths now lar. but i can't find anyway in the house to study. my desk is so full of papers that there's no empty space for me to work on. i know it kinda defeats the purpose of HAVING a desk in the first place but i'd like to see you come over and help me clear it up.

newton's first law states that an object will remain at rest or continue its state of motion until a net external force is exerted on it. Inertia.

i seem to have lots of the stuff. don't know if inertia is the right thing to call it [laziness being a very good replacement] but it's keeping me frm getting off my fat ass and doing something. crappy, no?

i've kinda self-diagnosed my condition. i keep calling the prelims promos which leads me to believe that i'm suffering from acute "J1"ophernia. don't know if it's a proper pyschological disorder but i'm sure that it'll be recognised by the medical community soon.

one thing that i can take away from this post is that it is not just "a self-indulgent exercise" becuz i have actually benefited from posting.
Under Part 4.1 of Section II [Newtonian Mechanics]:Dynamics
(a) Candidates should be able to state each of Newton's Laws of Motion.

well. the first law's in the bag. now i gotta get the rest down.
lads and lassies. i bid ye a fond farewell.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

::exam fever?::
oh man. i hate exams. really sucks. plus i had like a major case of writer's block today. i looked at all the twelve qns and i better have any :feeling: for any of them. so i did what i could do and just produced something to waste miss ng's time marking. definately substandard work. doubt that i'll get a passing grade on this essay. i'll be happy to get over 20.
the compre wasn't too bad i guess. :touchwood: i don't usually like to comment on exam papers cuz the results will prob come out very differently from what you predict. so yeah. shall not say anything abt it. haha.
so totally drained after yesterday. after the GP had to go settle all the stupid PEARLS business. total crap. and then had to go for like a three hr tuition session. his lessons are usually that long. but yest lesson seemed to be THAT much longer than normal. sucks.

::more musac::
haha. really have nothing else to do. prob shd be studying but i'm totally shagged after yest's gp and tuition. so here goes.

Start Wearing Purple by Gogol Bordello
Gogol Bordello is this wierd sounding "gypsy punk" group as they call themselves. the guy really has this creepy transylvanian-like voice. the kind that you'll hear in some old Dracula movie. but it's really a pretty cool song. quite funky beats and interesting lyrics. haha.
* * * * 4/5 stars

The Rising End by Zao
i love the intro for this song. really cool. Zao is a pretty hardcore screamo kinda band. frankly i've never understood the appeal of screamo. can never understand the lyrics. but the music is sometimes real good. this one is one of those screamos with really good guitar work. go for it. it rocks.
* * * 3/5 stars

Fireflies by Finch *highly recommended*
woah. this song's intro caught me the first time i heard it in HMV. the bass is super solid. and it's not one of those songs with a good intro which grows boring after that. the rest of the song is ROCKING! seriously great track from finch.
* * * * * 5/5 stars

Selfish Man by Flogging Molly
i've got the live in LA version but i haven't heard the studio version but so far i like what i hear. haha. it sounds kinda like a celtic gigolo singing with a frog in his throat. ah but who cares. it made it into my playlist. it has a really catchy beat and nice melodies in there. plus a really wierd solo.
* * * * 4/5 stars

What I Got by Sublime
i know that they're not really that new or what but this song's good. got caught listening to it so many years ago cuz it was on the Dave Mirra BMX game soundtrack. and i'm a sucker for their style of music.
if you like this song do check out No Woman, No Cry also by Sublime.
* * * * 4/5 stars


[wonder why i even put in that rating system cuz i wouldn't give anything less that 3 stars otherwise i wouldn't recommend it. plus i don't know how to put in half a star so i can't give like 4 1/2 or 3 1/2 which would make my ratings more "accurate". oh well. i guess it's just really really fun. makes my blog entry look like some kinda pro music review thingamagig. funky eh?]

Monday, August 29, 2005

::oh so cool::
haven't really been blogging that often anymore. was looking thru my blog and i used to blog like almost everyday. hrm. i guess life is getting too mundane to blog about. it's just sch to home to sch ... everyday. not much point in writing.
this past week has been fun though. went out with some of the ex 2H ppl on friday. haven't seen some of them for a really long time so it was nice.
spent the weekend over at my mom's hse chilling and not really doing much work. so i prob gotta buck up over this week. i still have my bet with BX.
i got back home to find a package that my sis sent over frm NY. she burnt the whole season of Lost on dvd for me so now i don't have to d/l it myself. so cool!! can't wait to watch it all. treated myself to two episodes this morning. major addiction. it's like taking a hit. wonder if there is such a thing as withdrawal symtoms for tv addicts. if there is i'm prob going to die when i finish watching it.

::of all the idiotic things::
haiz. really wonder how the school thought up the prelim timetable. they put the GP exam on the last week of this term and then the rest of the papers on the first week of next term. so we have like almost a two week break frm the GP papers to the rest of the papers. and we also lose out on one week of sch. it may not seem like much but we haven't even really gone thru the last tutorial for phys. totally sucky lar. mr tan was like sooooo stressed to finish the syllabus quickly. and i still don't really know what's going on for nuclear phys!! argh.....!!

::thinking too much?::
dunnoe if i'm reading things right. i really hope that it's just me thinking too much cuz i'm not really open to anything right now. she's a real nice gurl but i just don't really feel anything. hrm. hope that it's just me being dumb as usual.

::musac::
lastest additions to my playlist:

A Little Respect by Wheatus
a remake of an old erasure song. i've always disapproved of remakes generally but of course there are exceptions like Boys of Summer by the Ataris or Nothing's gonna stop us by The Starting Line. this one is another song to add to that list of exceptions. it hasn't been punked up like what mxpx did to take on me but rather mellowed down into a sorta acoustic version. nice.

Same side of the Moon by Corrinne May
i don't usually listen to ppl like corrinne may and steph sun etc. but this song's nice. i don't mind making an exception. it is really pretty good

Taxi Driver by Gym Class Heroes
it's kinda hip-hop/rap/indie but the guitar on this track is really funky. and listen to the words. you'll find alot of familiar names in the verse. it's short only abt 2 mins long but cool.

there are so many more nice songs but that's all i'm actually willing to write about. will try and write more tmr so stay tuned.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

::so much happier::
think that i'm finally getting into some kinda rhythm in sch.
starting to take work a bit more seriously and i'm really finding a bit more fulfilment. partially cuz getting better grades is quite encouraging. hopefully i can keep it up past the prelims and ace the a's. haha. hey, it's positive thinking. not delusion.

did you know....?:
-i really suck at trigo. still can't get the hang of it. help...!!

-bleed the dreams is really good. overcrowded room is one of my favourites.

-september is going to either be a month to remember or just another awkward moment.

-the temperature in the room is currently 26.1°C.

-the skin on my left hand fingertips is peeling.

-polar bears live on tropical islands.



i'm so much happier now that i have stopped thinking about what happened. it is so far behind me that it's not worth looking back for.

Monday, August 15, 2005

::musak::
found this really good EP from a band called Bleed The Dream. it's called Awake.
it's mostly emo i guess. but i really like it [hint hint to anyone with enough cash to get it for me]. *cough* available at HMV *cough cough*
well anyway. drummer Scott Gottlieb died earlier this year due to complications from cancer but not before he recorded all the drum tracks for their new album Built by Blood [another cough cough for good measure]. not just another sad sob story, this guy's really good.
there's a tribute site up for him. go check it out here. i've also put up a link to the band's webbie in one of the spaces on the left side of my blog.

Friday, August 12, 2005

::just like in the good ol' days::
was really shiok meeting up with the old gang yest. went to marche to celebrate aizhu's bday [happy birthday aizhu!!]. even met allan at heeren unexpectedly.
miss crapping with you guys. shd do it more often.
really miss those times that we spent slacking in sec sch.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

::masochistic behavior::
it's not that i don't wanna forget and move on.
but somehow i'm not letting myself make peace with facts that i know i have to live with and cannot do anything about. i keep tearing myself up and feeling sorry for myself and i feel like a bastard for doing this to myself. i'd like to think that i'm more mature that this. it all seems so childish.
oh yes i'm the great pretender.
i'd like to fool myself into thinking i'm okay.


"i was over it before. but you brought me back to where i began.", I said to myself.

the only thing that is preventing me from being happy is Me.
forget it boy. it's time to get moving. there are more important things to concern yourself with. this is but an obstacle on the road to your own success. nothing more. jump over it and get on with the race. don't think about what doesn't involve you any longer.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

::mundane life::
beginning to feel the stress of the upcoming a levels. haha. finally getting a bit "scared".
i did a couple of DRV qns just now. agar agar know how to do lar. but not really very sure. so that means that i've still got alot of work to do.
man. i hate doing maths. it is just practicing questions, questions and more questions. and when you're done with that, you just go ahead and do more questions. so tedious. haiz. but just gotta do it. darn.

::uncertain::
dunnoe if i heard correctly. and dunnoe if my inference was correct. siao liao.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

::mental block::
kinda happy to be alive after the parents-teacher meeting. esp after getting such crappy results.
but i am really disappointed. cuz i did study for my phys and econs and it is really quite depressing to still get back crap. really need to chiong now. but it is hard to build momentum. i really wanna get back to the way it was just before promos last year. that was really good. just spending hours in the library studying. actually studying.

::lost but never alone::
over the past week, i have really been contemplating what i want to do after JC. i know it is a bit soon to tell if i'll even finish JC with decent grades but i need a purpose and a drive to work to.
i don't know yet what i want to do. but i know that i have someone watching over me and i trust that i will know what to do when the time comes to make a decision.

::silence::
the school was really quiet today after receiving the news. i've seen her around school. she'd always walk into sch with her friend at the same time every morning, just after i get to the grandstand. i don't know her personally but still it is quite shocking to lose a schoolmate.
no parent should ever have to bury their children. can't imagine how her parents feel. that is one thing that i dread. losing a child.
i spent a little time in silent prayer for her and her family.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

:: wasted day ::
really wasted my day. din do anything productive.
was planning to do the maths remedial thing that ah leong gave.
but in the end i watched tv. mind-numbing.
that's what i want.

was also planning to do alot of things. the peicai teacher's day thing for the ex-sutdents was going on just across the road from my hse at al athar and i was too lazy to get up for it. was also planning to go turf city maybe to play for wanderers. but din have boots and was again to lazy.

really pissed with myself. i can't believe that i missed Lost on thurs. i was waiting for it for the WHOLE week. i know it sound real pathetic. but i live for thur night. just to watch Lost. but hey. i'm here blogging at home on a saturday night so my life is pathetic enough as it is. so yeah.

really gotta get my mind of it. thanks to all my friends that have been helping me out. esp choy. thanks sis. i just wish that i did things differently. this sucks.

listening to: Bye Bye Love by The Everly Bros.
(go look up the lyrics)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

::my time's up::
at first i was kinda angry. kinda felt betrayed.
on monday was really not happy.
but after giving it some thought now i kinda feel that it is for the best.

[i don't blame you and you definately have NOTHING to apologise for.
you have the right to make a choice and i have to respect that.
i meant what i said. i cannot imagine my JC life without having known you.
and i really dun wanna lose you as a friend. hope that we can still be able
to call each other good friends.]


and to you bro. i told you what i felt today.
it's true that i was major pissed at you on monday and tues.
but after thinking about it, i think that you are really so much better for her.
i think that she is really happy when she's with you and that's what is impt.
so you better take care of her. got it?

Monday, July 11, 2005

::pissed::
got back my econs today. bloody hell. I got a 44.4%. just like 0.1% away frm getting rounded up to a passing grade. but that's not the part that really got me down. it was the fact that I really studied for the midyrs and I got back these kinda results.
fucking hell. even though I'm really embarrassed about my maths results being so absolutely rock bottom, I know that I deserved it cuz I sacrificed it to mug for econs. and even with me sacrificing a subject I still got crap marks. what the hell. was real disappointed. even some retail therapy didn't really help (I bought new shoes finally. my old pair was worn to the bare threads).
so far I haven't even got a single A pass. if I don't get something from my phys I swear I'll take the "express lift" from the tallest HDB flat around school.
common. I can't say that I've worked my butt off to the bone but at least I know that I have worked hard enough to deserve AT LEAST an A pass. and I can't even get that. was really pissed off when I left school.

::more pissed::
got even more pissed when I got home.
the first thing I saw was that idiotic maid of ours standing on a stool chatting away with the neighbour's maid.
the second thing I saw was the canvas that should be over my bike lying on the floor. I can only presume that the wind blew it off.
the third thing I saw was rows of WET clothing hanging up to dry directly ABOVE the bikes dripping away.

the point of the matter is that the idea of having the canvas over the bikes in the first place is to protect the bikes from the weather, my dog's fur and esp water cuz water can do plenty damage to the bikes if it gets into more sensitive parts of the bike like the CGI or the air filter. and she goes and hangs wet clothes over the bikes to drip dry.
no. I'm not just angry over something like that. as soon as I got back, the first thing I had to do when I was tired from school was to cover the bikes back which took no more than twenty seconds. don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about doing things myself. I'm no spoilt brat. but the thing is she can't do this herself when it is in plain sight that something has to be done. oh no. she just happily goes on chatting with her friend.
was really fuming by then but didn't want to tell her off in front of her friend.

::lagi pissed off::
as if I wasn't in a bad mood already.
the first thing I saw when I reached my room, my classical guitar up on the table in my room.
the second thing I saw was my electric guitar UNDERNEATH it.

I know it doesn't really seem like a big deal. but it is to me. what if my guitars got scratched or damaged. I'm responsible for them. my dad will just say that I haven't been taking care of it.
and it's not like this is the first time that I have come home to this.
there's this nice spot on my spare table that I put my electric guitar and a nice place where I can lean my classical guitar. and that's the way that it's been. then she decides that the guitars are much "SAFER" being stacked up one on top of the other.
the first time it happened, I let to slide. I just put my classical guitar back against my shelves.

I put it down, she stacked it up.
I put it BACK down, she stacks it again.
I put it BACK down AGAIN, she stacks it up ONCE MORE.
I PUT IT DOWN AGAIN!
SHE STACKS IT UP YET AGAIN!
...
...
...
and on and on


I think you should get the idea. I seriously believe you are infinitely wiser than her.
does she think this is a fucking game? if she thinks it is, I'm bloody hell NOT amused.

::looking back. and I'm even more fucking pissed::
for goodness sake. I swear. the house has never been MORE dusty and dirty before the time when she first stepped into the place.
there's dust everywhere.
I really have an urge to tell her off REAL BAD. I'm talking serious telling off.

the point of having the maid is to make life easier for my 89 yr old grandfather. but i think she is giving him more headaches than ever.
for those of you that have met my grandfather, you all probably know what a miracle the man is. 89 and counting. and he is still so independent. able to renew his driving license and he even goes to Orchard to watch movies now and then.
he also does the groceries when I'm in school, my dad's at work and my sister's not at home. but he does still need help.
the arrangement with previous maids has always been that he'll drive down to get the groceries and when he reaches the gate he'll honk the horn and the maid'll come out and bring in the groceries. but everytime he honks, this women takes her own sweet time to
slowly...


come...


out...

by that time my grandfather (who is rather impatient) has already got most of the groceries in by himself.
I'm like, what the fuck. what the fuck are we paying you for. you don't really seem to be doing much.


she has really done some idiotic things.

READ THIS! I MEAN IT!! WON'T REGRET DE. LAUGH UNTIL PENG.
okie. here's the scene. my grandfather is cooking chicken rice. the type with the chicken steamed with the rice not the hainanese chicken rice type. the temp in the rice cooker is not enough to cook the chicken thoroughly so my grandfather instructed her to half cook the chicken before putting it into the cooker with the rice.

WAIT! STOP!! before proceeding. what do you understand by the term half cooked?
it means cooking the chicken lightly before putting it in the rice cooker, right?

he leaves the kitchen to continue with his mahjong game
she took the chicken and cut it into pieces and fried half
of the pieces and left the rest aside to be cooked later with the rice.
you should have seen his face when he came back. he really didn't know whether to start shouting at her. laugh til he cried. or just cry out of despair (not amusement).
I can't stand it anymore. my god. boiling point: 3 seconds.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

::empty space between my ears::
oh man... whatever slim chance that i thot i had for getting a good grade for econs paper two were totally dashed.. what the hell.... forget dashed.. more like obliterated..
whatever white chick said was NOT the right thing to write was the stuff that i gave in my answers... i was sitting there with a "what the f**k" look on my face and left the lt wondering why i even bothered to wake up so early just for that...
eff-ed up the midyrs lar... my maths is like a total no hope lar.. phys still got a bit of hope... but i had pretty high hopes on my econs and that got f**ked up so if my phys goes the way of my econs, i'm pretty screwed...

::aaaaarrghhh!!!::
spent my monday slacking at ps. spent my tues slacking in sch. spent my wednesday slacking at home.
slack slack slack... what am i supposed to do? i'm totally broke.
spend my weeks allowance in a day. living off scraps for the rest of the week.
plus my ez link card is in the negative so i gotta find coins for bus fare.
feel like a blardy begger. i need some cash.
(donations are accepted in the form of cash or deposits into my bank acct. for futher info contact me personally)
i'm a lazy bastard.

::what can i do?::
i can't stop thinking. shd i let go? it pretty much appears that i shd.
but do i want to. of course not. i would like to continue filling my head with delusions of the happiest of outcomes but i'm also a bit more practical than that. i think.
i'm about to burst. i just can't hold everything in forever. yet i don't know how to express it.
there's no one that i really can talk to and let loose. it's just a really nasty feeling.
hrm. i just it's back to my normal self. just laugh it off and pretend nothing's happened.
i'd like a moment of solitude. away frm everyone. just to be by myself. but i don't have the time. A's are coming and are just abt four months away.

you caught me by surprise when you called. didn't know how to respond.
i don't wanna make you worried but at the same time i can't help it.
i don't know if i can fulfil my promise.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

::Trapped and Confused::
why do i make things so difficult for myself?

Saturday, July 02, 2005

::They're Coming::
"No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own"
-H.G. Wells

The famous first line from H.G. Wells book War of the Worlds. Went to watch the latest movie adaptation of the book last night and muz say that i was rather impressed. it didn't really stick to the storyline in the book but some aspects of the book were still in there.

was thinking that it might be quite a disappiontment after being brought up listening to the Richard Burton reading of the book (excellent, go download or buy it). but was really on the edge of my seat throughout the two hours.

and they threw in a bit of the book in the mix just to keep a bit of authenticity. like the sinking of the ferry. reminicent of the sinking of the Thunder Child?

overall, really good movie. hey. let's put it this way. if was a gurl or gay (of which i am NEITHER!), Tom Cruise is totally mine.


::It's Over::
Finally the midyrs are over. what a relief. a bit of time to relax before the results come out. which i dread much more than Martians coming.
got a full lineup of stuff to do in the break before sch restarts next thurs.

Monday, June 27, 2005

::crashing into the sea::
i really dun noe what i'm doing. i'm like totally wasting my time concerning myself with things that are totally not necessary. why am i tearing myself up over something that though important to me should not be my main priority. my main priority should be studying for what's coming up in a few months time. and yet i'm here still stuck and not moving anywhere.
keep staring at my phys tys and not able to concentrate enough to do even one qn properly. just guessing the answers.
there's a song that really describes how i feel now. kinda embarassed to say which song. but it's been playing over and over on my player.

Friday, June 24, 2005

::picts::
hey. to any ruggers that reads my blog.
i uploaded some pics that was taken during our a div onto friendster.
i think you shd be able to access it even without a friendster acct.

Nanyang Rangers

and

Nanyang Ruggers

if you want the full collection of 185 photos contact guo feng or me.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

::pressure mounting::
the midyrs are almost upon us.... just a day to go for the students taking econs and i still have quite a bit to cover for the essays.... oh man.. the first time that we're gonna be doing three essays in one sitting.... kinda intimidating....
my maths is totally gone case lar.... totally cannot make it de..... my trigo is crap lar... i can stare at the question and just go blank....
i hate this... i just don't have the discipline to just sit down and do my maths.... i know how impt it is... and i know that i can do it... cuz all the times that i have actually sat down and finished a tutorial i'm actually quite okie (poisson rox!!!....
i don't think i'm a very mathematically inclined person..... nor am i very good in phys and econs.... which leads me to wonder what i'm doing in this combi.... haha.... wierd.....

::loooonely::
looonely... i am so looonely....
i have nobooody... to call my ooooown.....

yeah... i'm lonely.... still can't stop thinking abt her....

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

::wasted day::
oh man... really kinda wasted today... didn't do anything at all.... was supposed to do my maths but in the end i ended up watching the british lions match on tv in the afternoon... sorry girl...
will try and make up for the wasted time today by studying extra tmr... it's just kinda hard to get to work when there are so many distractions at home... my tv, my computer, my stereo in my room is pretty cool (the bass on the thing is quite impressive in the small confines of my room).... then there's my guitars, the piano... argh... having the whole house to myself during the day is kinda like a double edged sword cuz i kinda get easily distracted.... maybe shd start studying in sch...

Saturday, June 04, 2005

::mr lonely::
there were many things i wanted to tell her. but the words just stuck in my mouth.
i just sat there silent wanting to tell her but nothing came out except her name.
never told her how perfect she seems to me.
never told her how sweet she is.
or how wonderful it has been just knowing someone like her.
how wonderful it has been knowing her.
i'd really rather have her as my friend than nothing at all.
i do wish that we could be more. but if that's how she feels i've gotta respect that.
saw my first shooting star. it went by too fast for me to make a proper wish.
but i made one anyway. i hope it comes true.

[thank you for telling me straight. i knew that you prob knew what was going on. was sitting there trying to get the words out of my mouth. couldn't get anything out. hope that you and i will forever be able to call each other friends. even if i wish that i could be more to you, i've thankful to just be friends as well. i really enjoyed just sitting there with you talking. it really was a beautiful night. wish we stayed there longer]

Thursday, June 02, 2005

::road to recovery?::
taking some time off to relax for a while.... let myself settle down first then get into a proper rhythm in the build up to my exams.... haven't been feeling myself lately... something's just not right....
i've got a week to relax before i get back to the books, so i'm gonna make good use of it to just chill and get my mind off things....
don't think i'll be blogging for a couple of weeks.... just to give myself a break.... but don't take me off the blogs-to-read list... i might drop in now and again....
c ya peeps

Thursday, May 26, 2005

::go screw yourself::
you know what.... i fucking hate you.... you know why i don't respect you.... cuz you've never given me a reason to... i don't see why i shd respect a old fag like you when you have never given me anything my whole life...
you wanna see what failing really looks like... i can show you all Fs for my midyears.... fucking hell... i can show you zeros if you want.... you think it's so fucking easy to do a lvls... den you bloody go do it yourself.... juz cuz you don't see me studying at home doesn't mean that i'm out somewhere slacking all the day away.... at least altho i have spent alot of time on CCA, i have done what i can to struggle to keep up.... at least i can understand what's going on in class....
i know what has to be done... and i'll bloody do it when the time comes.... you think i want to waste two fucking years in JC... it's my life... i know much better than you ever will what i want to do with it.... don't tell me that you nagging constantly is going to help me pass my fucking papers.... i know way better than you want i have to deliver for the A's...
i may not become a doctor, a lawyer or land some other big shot job... but that's not what i want in life anyway so why the hell shd i work for that....
i think it was the wrong decision to go to JC...
so what abt the "prestige" of being in a JC... it is just another endless road to no where... this world really has no appeal to me.... what am i striving for... a fucking piece of paper after two years of struggling thru test after test...
and after that, another "educational" institution and another few years of crap....
what for.... what's the point of it all... all the money in the world doesn't really mean anything to me... i just want a quiet job which gets me enough to support a family comfortably... i don't want a gigantic mansion in bukit timah... a four- or five-room HDB flat will do just fine... expensive food for dinner? makan frm the market would be so much more filling and enjoyable....
you know what... i'm on the verge of just giving up... i really don't see the point arguing anymore... it doesn't solve anything... nothing has meaning, nothing has purpose anymore... the easy way out looks awful tempting right now....

Monday, May 23, 2005

::living in a dream world::
that's it.... friday was the last game that we would play tgr as a team...
i didn't know that anyone could be so happy when they lost... but we were on top of the world that day.... 24-10... who thought it could have been so close.... two tries scored... and i swear.... if we had scored in the first half like we threatened to do, things might have been very very different...
i wanted to be on the field when the ref blew the final whistle.... but too bad i had to go off into the blood bin.... oh well...
i can't believe that it's finally over... a year of hard work and sweat... the difficulties we experienced as a team and the disagreements that we have endured...
i can't imagine my life if i had joined another CCA.... things would be really very different... and cliched as it may sound, given the chance, i wouldn't have it done any other way....
there are so many things that i wanna say, but i just can't think of it right now...
i'll miss you guys... this past year was the best time of my life....
wad jamal said really sums up what i wanna say....
"SAJC may be listed as the third, but NYJC is no. 1 in my heart"

::end of days::
it's finally over... the supposedly "last" installment of the Star Wars saga is out... caught it on saturday night.... i don't know... somehow i still prefer the original three cuz it was more real... and not as much computer graphics were used....
haha... i guess the main appeal of the movie was everyone needed closure.... everyone knows what will happen.... anakin will turn to the dark side, the jedis will get killed, chancellor palpatine will become the new emperor with his clone troopers by his side, padme will die in child birth and she'll give birth to twins... but i think everyone just wants to see how it happens... the details of what unfolded in a galaxy far far away....
haha... i'm kind of a self proclaimed Star Wars buff... i don't know everything abt the series... but i do know more than the average person... i think....

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

::semis::
made it thru to the semis... for the first time in NYJC rugby history... feels damn good to be a part of that history making.... plus we got a pretty nice mention in the article on the SRU homepage... haha....
it really is quite a milestone to us... cuz we've come thru a year of hard work to get here.... what is so amazing is that all of our year two players which make up a large majority of the first team did not touch a rugby ball b4 we came into jc...

well... not really a big surprise to many out there... we lost to ACJC in the semis... there was some real good plays though and we didn't really give them an easy time.. in fact, in the first half we forced a lot of drop balls from them and we did manage to pass the ball out to the wing once or twice... it is rather comforting to know that altho they have had many more yrs of experience, are fitter and faster, we did what we could to deal with the situation....


::studying?::
haha... i'm super proud of myself... i actually did the Poisson dist tutorial... okie.. i didn't do the last two qns cuz i don't have a maths TYS... but i did the rest with no prob... and actually got them right the first time i did them... some ppl may ask what's the big deal... but it is quite an a achievement for me... i'm really bad in maths and to be able to do the tutorial is really a boost for my confidence if not my ego....

::acknowledgements::
haha... peiwen has asked me to mention in my post that she is sitting in the com lab next to me.... i think i better listen to her... i don't want her to empty out her water bottle on me.. haha...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

::we're there::
29-0 and NYJC is thru.... next up AC... i disagree with jamal.. it's not going to be three times harder than today's match... it'll be five times as hard... not saying anything abt SR... they're a good side... it's just that AC is really like another step up....
i just don't think that i'm good enuf to reach that level anymore... i used to be very self-confident... i would have that swagger... but suddenly i have that feeling of inadequecy... i used to play games and feel proud of what i've done in the match... i'm very sure that i can send out balls much better that what i gave BX today... i'm positive that i've given better service in the past... otherwise i wouldn't have earned jamal's confidence to let me start wearing the no.9 jersey....
i bloody hell don't want to face the embarassment of an 80 plus match against AC... but i feel bloody weak... worn to the bone... burnt out....
wad's wrong....
i'm bloody unhappy abt today's match... no doubt a win is a win... but we didn't follow the game plan at all... nothing really went right....
no making excuses for my bad performance.... but the ref really was a bit wierd.... there were alot of calls that went against me... he called at least two or three one-sided feeds into the scrums... but i'm very sure that it was straight.... i don't know lar.. forget it.... no point in talking abt something that is over...

::stuck::
i don't know what to do lar... i just feel like telling her and just getting it over with... but it's kinda like playing a double-or-nothing... or i might even break even and everything will go back to the way it was.... anything is better than just standing ard and being just a shadow... the invisible man.... someone who is just there... yet at the same time nowhere.... contradiction... i think not... cuz that's the way it is....
or shd i just go back to my trademark NG, NE and forget everything...

Friday, May 06, 2005

::fire's back::
oh man.... today was just superb... forwards were just fantastic...
final score NYJC 13-JJC 3... two tries, one from LOBA and one from gerald mok sealed it in the second half after we made it to the break tied 3 all.... despite some scares early on and going down to a penalty early in the game, we fought back... and that's what i love abt this team... we don't let anything bring us down....
nanyang rangers.... hrm.... sounds good... don't you think...
it was quite an emotional win... after what happened last year... i bet the year twos and esp BX would rmbr.... and it felt good to get the better of them at their home ground in front of their home fans...
congrats to LOBA... so happy for him... first try... it really must feel fantastic... haha....
let's go guys... just a little bit more til we start writing history for Nanyang Junior College.... never felt so patriotic to a sch b4... amazing...

Saturday, April 30, 2005

::at long last::
finally setting aside some time to update my blog... haven't really been coming online very often lately... between the bouts of hacking coughs, tissues stuffed up my nose, etc, i don't really feel like blogging... been sick like that for a few weeks now and it's really draining me of energy... i'm just feeling very tired but there's no time to rest... not now... not when it's so close... just within reach but not fully in our grasp yet...

::almost there. definately not going nowhere::
don't know what is happening to my passion for my sport... this time last year i would have killed anyone that stood between me and field... maybe it's just cuz of me not feeling too well... sorry to disappoint anyone... but frankly speaking, i'll be happy when the season is over... that's why i can get down to actual studying not just going thru the motions everyday in sch...

kinda pissed off... boon.. can i be frank with you... that fri you really pissed me off... for the past few weeks or so i have helped out with keeping logistics every training while everyone was changing up and going home... i spent half an hour going in and out of the store last tues to help kenneth and the year ones to keep stuff... and when i called in a favour last night cuz i was in a hurry, you say that i was just making excuses not to do logis... wad de hell... that was too much lar... as a logistics head, you are not just there to assign ppl to do the logistics... you have to go with them to ensure that all the equipment is in the right place and safely in the store instead of staying out on the field kicking... come on dude... you looking for a post with more responsability with next year's batch... den you gotta start taking on the responsability now...

::4G bbq::
had a good time at the bbq... haven't seen you guys for such a super long time... i can't even rmbr the last time i went out with you ppl... haiz... you guys are lucky that you're in the same sch.. can at least see each other in sch... haha... makes me think of what life might've been like if i went to poly instead of JC... haha... i don't regret coming to NY... but i just makes me wonder...
yuto, shand, thiong, zai quan, dd, xinghui and pris... thanks alot for the prezzie... just to let you all know... i used it today to go out... so yeah... love it... plus it really matches my sch uni... nice choice... haha...

::on a much lighter note::

TOP TEN REJECTED CHILDREN'S TOYS
And the number one rejected children's toy...

1. Don't Drink the Bong Water

go visit http:/toptenlog.blogspot.com/
super funny dude.... haha...

Friday, April 15, 2005

::approaching maturity? hell no::
as of 0821h today, the 15th of april 2005, i am able to go into a club without fear of being checked, able to buy liquor without worrying about the cashier asking me for identification, able to walk into a s'pore pools outlet place bets and collect winnings without having to act eighteen...
that's right boys and gurls... today's my birthday...

A BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THE PPL THAT HELPED ME TO CELEBRATE IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER

was so touched by the prezzies and the cards and stuff that i received today... and the "tattoos" that i had on my arms tho it was not entirely voluntary....
haha... but anyway... it was such a good day... had a lot of fun....

and also to the people that sent me sms greetings... really made my day....

at least i can forget my troubles for a while and have a good time with all my frens and family...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

::surprises::
thanks guys... such a "memorable" day....
haha... i don't get angry... i just get revenge... the seven guys better watch out on their birthdays...
haha... but really.. it was so nice lar... thank BX for dinner.. and the guys for embarrassing me in the pizza hut with the birthday song... wad de hell..
touching sia...
and it's not even my birthday lar... wtf...
will remember this guys.... it's gonna be ur turn soon...
surprised

Friday, April 08, 2005

::the final stretch::
the a divs are finally here... or at least just ard the corner... what we've been training so hard for...
haiz... nervous yet excited... cannot wait for nxt week and yet wish that it will never come....
so contradictory... but yupps.. that's how i feel...
NYJC will be playing in the grp stages with PJC, RJC, JJC and SRJC....
we had the chance to be the first people to wear the new forest green canter jerseys... so cool... it was damn nice having that privilege....

::affected?::
haiz.. think i'm getting affected by everything piling up... esp at this time... btwn the trainings, there isn't really time to do any homework... i guess i'm guilty of being a tad lazy... okay fine.. truthfully.. i'm being REALLY lazy... but can't help it... don't get enuf quality sleep at night, zonk thru sch, get home to eat dinner and then TRY to sleep... i'm just there in body but not in mind and spirit...

i kinda have some kind of idea of what i want to do after JC, but i just don't know where to start... what is required for me to enter the course, the scope of the courses that i'm interested in, etc... i guess i still have a bit of research to do...

but mostly, i'm really being hindered by my dilemma... i don't know what to do... there is so many things involved... i don't wanna just step out and imagine that i don't have feelings for her... but at the same time... haiz... dunnoe how to put it.....

::stoned::
i just feel like sitting in a corner of sch and stoning... pretending to be brain dead.... every now and then, i'd get up and act mentally unsound(not too tough for me), freak everyone out then go back to being a vegetable...
it would be nice to be able to just sit there without a care in the world, not bothering abt the nxt maths assignment test or finishing the latest physics tutorial... without having to plan for the future and just be there living for the present and talking whatever comes ur way....
to have a bunch of friends who will stone with you forever that you can crap with....
life's full of worries... i'm not saying that it won't be... cuz it is....
but it's nice having dreams isn't it....

::the ways of the sith::
i'd like to stand up during common lunch and shout F*** OFF at the top of my lungs to let off steam... of course there are alot of undesired repercussions that come with doing such a thing.. that's what keeps me sitting down quietly in a corner. brewing up like a pressure cooker...
it's been a long long time since i've been really truly madly deeply ANGRY with someone... i mean red hot angry... i feel the urge to shout or deck someone that i don't like... haiz... i know it's wrong... but it is quite refreshing...
nooo... anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering.. that is the path to the dark side... i cannot allow myself to fall to the temptations of the dark side...
okay... so that's getting a bit lame... but it's my blog... i'll write what i want....

Friday, April 01, 2005

::what's my age again?::
i can't stand it... for the past week, my grandfather has been bugging me over and again abt me coming home "late"... what the hell... I'm freaking 17 going to be 18 in a couple of weeks... hey... i know how to take care of myself... I'm not some helpless child that needs to have someone holding my hand anytime that i step out of the house... what the hell....
give me my space... you may be concerned abt me but pls, i need to be able to do my own stuff too... for the past YEAR, i have always come home about 8-9 o'clock cuz of rugby training... you'd think that he'd get the idea that i won't be back for dinner in time cuz of training.... yet every single time that i come home a bit late after training he'll give me some stupid talking to abt calling home when I'm not coming back... I'VE BLOODY A BILLION PHARKING TIMES TOLD YOU THAT I WILL ALWAYS COME HOME LATE TUES AND THURS CUZ OF TRAINING!!
he never listens to me anyway... so i don't know why i even bother...
i don't really have a good relationship with my grandfather... we tolerate each other... don't expect any more than that....
i guess it's cuz I'm the grandchild that gave the most problems...

::brain-busting dilemma::
dunnoe if I'm going to give up the policy.... don't think that it is a very good idea... she's nice... too nice for a guy like me... i don't think that i can really make her happy....
i want to tell her... don't know if i shd... cuz i don't wanna spoilt anything... and i have a nagging feeling that things won't go well if i do... oh man...

::university::
was looking around at courses just for interests sake in the aussie uni guide.... there was this course that sounded interesting... Bachelor in psychology and bachelor in education(primary).... what it's all abt is learning abt the psychological development of children... at the primary school level... it may not seem glam or something (primary school teacher? haha) but it is really something working with kids...
but was also thinking if i could do something that i enjoyed personally like photography both as an artform as well as photography as a form of journalism, sports, portraits and the like... but it is a tough life... it really depends on ur luck... if you get a really good pic that can stand out against the tons of others, then you've got it made... ppl will be queuing up to get you to take their photo... and can you imagine having a picture that you took up on the cover of Time mag circulating all around the world... woah... the pride....
don't know what exactly my combi has to do with the courses that i was interested in, but these are just two that I'm actually interested in...

::it's just a block test. real one's coming up soon::
220 days to my first paper... yes... we've counting the no. of days left.. and that is the figure that we came up with... scary huh... kinda brings me down to earth...
i screwed up my block test... got like 16.5 outta 60 for maths... super bad.. that's like a pure F... plus i just passed my econs... a subject that i don't expect to score well in without studying... and i didn't really study for block tests... so i kinda deserve the grade.. but one sub that i did study for is phys... if i fail that I'm really gonna take the "express lift" down from the highest block of flats the HDB has to offer...... haha... kiddin... i think?
my dad's been starting to ask me abt sch more and more now... that means that he is indirectly trying to give the hint that i'd better do well or else he'll skin me alive... nah... he won't really skin me alive... i think he'll take whatever i get... as long as i can do something with it... but he is trying to pressure me into becoming the most studious student nanyang has ever seen... of course it doesn't work that way with me... I'm not like that... there's no way that he can ever pressure me into something like studying....
to borrow an old cliche.. it's my way or the highway... i did it for o lvls... i brought myself frm like a high 20 L1R5 to 14... it's not spectacular... but i think that i did what i could.. and the improvement in grades really made my day... reward for the work that i put in during the run-up to the o lvls... i know that the a lvls are a totally different kettle of fish... but i'm sure that i can do it again... i worked out a kind of study schedule and i'm really gonna work after the A divs are over... i know what you ppl are thinking... it's soooo much easier said than done... but i'm sure that i can do it... i'll show everyone that ever doubted in me...

Saturday, March 26, 2005

::touch::
oh man... i've got a red v-shaped mark on my chest... kena sunburn until quite obvious...
and yes... for those of you wondering... i DO get sunburned... so yeah...
went all the way to WOODLANDS to play touch... haha...
lost all three games... but who cares.. it's just touch.. and it's not like it was a totally serious competition... we were slacking on the field lar... haha... didn't really run back in defence and stuff...
we only really played during the fijian touch among ourselves before lunch... and even then it was slack... haha...
mananged to stay and watch the singapore vs. india game... oh man.. no offence... but the s'pore team blew the indians AWAY.. haha... go reds....

::foot-hand agony::
ever think that your toes are like just another part of your foot... or that your pinky is just a useless piece of flesh... well.. i never will think like that again...
it's when you sprain your pinky and big toe that you truely appreciate them....
was in agony when i took off my boots after the matches.... woah... could hardly walk to the dining hall for lunch... and my pinky is not much better... i think my handling could have been much better if it was at 100%...
hrm... thinking of going to see sinseh and see if he can do anything about it....
i know that western doctors are TOTALLY useless at sports injuries... they just look at the thing, give you painkillers that don't really help and charge you $40.... i've learnt my lesson...

::phucking thieves::
i don't see how it can happen... in a junior college you would expect grown up, young adults who would know right frm wrong... and yet... on thurs, five bags went missing frm the grandstand... four frm soccer and one frm rugby....
i was thinking that it was an honest mistake that someone took the bags thinking it was their friends.... but after hearing that there were four other bags missing, i have a feeling that the ppl that took it knew what they were doing....
haiz... brings such a bad name to nanyang...
a junior of mine (well not yet officially a junior) lost his WHOLE bag including handphone and wallet on the, i think, the first day that he stepped into nanyang.... wad de hell.... phuck these kids....

::bbq::
hrm.. i think it was quite a success... just enough ppl came to finish the food and so we didn't have a shortage or an extreme surplus of food...
sorry pw that you had to eat a bit leftover food... but at least the fire was hot enuf to heat it up.... haha...
all of them ending up staying the whole night.... playing mahjong with NO MONEY.... how sian... got no excitement... haha... so i ending up not playing much... just a couple of games in the morning.... slept all the way until 3 after they left... man.. was tired after clearing up the place after all the other guests left...
thanks for coming ppl....


overall it was a preeetty good week... cept for the block tests lar.... haha... kidna screwed.. and chinese is seriously giving me alot of probs.... but yeah... life is good....

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

::last one::
tmr is finally the last paper for the block test... phys Skill A...
design experiment... hrm... dun really have to study for it lar... Just need to know the format...
don't think I'll really be very happy with the results of the block tests tho...
esp my econs... i think that i could do better.... but didn't really study hard for it... So can't say anything lar... haha...

::Chinese::
the bane of my existence... a struggle every single year just to survive...
just in case you don't know... the last time i passed a Chinese exam was in primary two... Yes... I'm not ashamed... my Chinese is bad... sooooo what...
i thank God that now we don't HAVE to include Chinese into uni entry... altho we still have to pass it, it is kinda easier now with the D7 rule and Chinese B....
blardy sch.... the sch is not allowing me to take Chinese B for the mid years... So i gotta take chi AO and only if i fail that one can i take chi B... wad the hell.. That is like a TOTAL waste of my time... i really don't think that i could pass it... Even if there was a strange marking error that automatically gave everyone exactly 50%, i think I'd still fail it... haha... No joke...
the reason why i wanna take chi B is so that i can get Chinese out of the way and concentrate and worry abt my other papers that I'm having just as difficult a time with... damn cheena sch...

::Good?::
for those that don't really know what Good Friday is all about... It isn't really a holiday for celebration but rather more somber reflection... Catholics and Christians believe that Jesus Christ died to take away our sins and to save us frm ending up downstairs when we pass on... And Good Friday is the day that He died for us....
the season of Lent for Catholics starts abt five weeks before Good Friday and Lent is a time for Catholics to really reflect and think abt the sacrifice that Jesus made for our sake... the Passion of Christ, a reading frm the bible, is read in churches on Palm Sunday, the sunday before Good Friday, as a sort of remembrance of what he was put through... the scourging, the humiliation, the pain and the betrayal... If you watched "Passion of Christ", you can imagine what he was put through...
I'm not a very religious person... but i have faith although my faith is not strong... i waiver.... but then I'm only human... I can't help it... Jesus did wad he did for people like me... a sinner... He is like a shepherd that would leave the rest of herd to search for just one lost sheep....


+ i don't know how many of you will think that i'm just another person trying to evangelise but i'm not here to convert the whole world.. i'm just here to share my faith.. what little i can explain abt my faith... tell you what i believe in and share what great things i have received... i'm not used to sharing openly like this so i'm not very fluent with expressing myself... forgive my inability to share fully with you... +

Sunday, March 20, 2005

::block tests::
block tests starting tmr... haven't really studied at all... Thank god tmr is just GP.... dun really need to study for that... buy me some extra time... of course tmr is also the bleeding CLAO paper.... but i that is kinda like a paper that i won't pass no matter how much i mug for it... there isn't much content for CLAO... my language is just bad....

::hakuna matata::
ah... the magic of a disney cartoon... a meerkat and a warthog singing a life of no worries... haha.... blissful ignorance....
i don't think any human living in today's world can safely say that he/she lives with no worries....

::teachers::
get so pissed sometimes with some of my tutors.... i know i shd say stuff like this... but i can't help feeling frustrated..
like GP... my whole class seems very bewildered by Aplication Questions in the paper 2.... our tutor continually tells us that we're not doing it the right way... instead of telling us that.... why don't you tell us WHAT we're doing wrong, HOW to do it right, WHAT the examiners look for in an AQ ans and hence how to score well...
hrm... no wonder nanyang has such a bad track record for GP....
there are, however, the teachers that really make a difference... Mrs Chong for one... she's so super nice and sometimes i'm ashamed to say that i take advantage of her general "niceness"... i still owe her a couple of econs essays....
it's not just the way that she conducts lessons but the fact that she actually is concerned abt us... not only our results but our mental and emotional wellbeing....

::unwanted emotion::
blame it on one's raging hormones.... but i don't think anyone plans to feel like this... it's like a whirlwind... Exhilarating yet destructive in nature.... a downward spiral....
on the topic of my "No Girls, No Exception" policy, I'm not inhuman with no feelings nor have i taken a vow of celibacy.... i'm just being practical... keeping my mind focused on the task at hand.... getting thru my A's with decent enough grades.... that shd be my main goal right now... shdn't it?
and yet.... i think i'm going further off track....

Friday, March 11, 2005

blogging
hrm... i'm turning into a once a week blogger... haha... dun really have time to update anymore.... i'm staying in sch longer.... too tired by the time i get home... i don't really have the energy to blog.... oh well...
i guess that means that i'm spending more time on my studies and rugby....
equal amts of time on both i hope... haha...

school
school is great... my phys seems to be improving... and i'm getting slightly better grades... nothing to really be proud of... but i think that it is somewhat a great achievement for a slacker like me... my maths is getting a bit better too.... cept for my trigo.... bloody hell.. so many bleeding formulas....
block tests coming up soon.... gotta study sia... haha... otherwise pw will get the pleasure of painting my nails with liquid paper... haha...

rugby
the a divs is coming up soon... i seriously believe that we have a fighting chance to make it into the top four and fulfil mr tan's dream.... at the same time, i'm very hesitant to make such a claim.... cuz i dun want to make big promises and fall short of the mark... but i will give my best... all out for the a div... and i'm sure that we will bring nanyang to where it belongs...
the school has been very supportive... the new jerseys, the new tackle pads... the balls and the equipment... i feel so lucky to have such facilities....
jamal was saying that the first batch that he took didn't even have pads to practice for contact situations.... they had to borrow pads frm SRU and only trained for full contact situations a few months before the a div... and that was the team that almost made it into the top four.... here we are with our pads, training facilities... we better have something to show for the support given to us....
it is a good draw for us in the grp stages....
RJC, JJC, SRJC, PJC and us..... the teams are all around the same level as us, cept for RJ lar... but as my uncle told me... the draw is already in our favour... the rest is up to us...

term two
term two starts off with block tests.... haiz... sian right.... but that's life...
another batch of yr ones will be coming in.... hopefull there will be some good players that have some expirience that we could use for subs or even first team players.... so far only gerald mok, shang and dextor have made it into NYJC.... it would have been so nice if we could have had timothy goh, david and melvin come in... would have been cool... and would have solved some of our problems with lineup... but this is our a div... the year twos... it's our time to shine before getting down to studies....




here isn't really anything that i wanna blog abt right now lar... my life is totally abt studies and rugby for the next few months... other stuff is out of my mind.... well at least i'm trying to get it out of my mind... haha... but i have eyes... i can't help looking ard now and then can i.... that's something that no one can control....


one last thing... guys... can you imagine playing at the police academy in front of all those people... that would be so cool... i'm working to try and make that dream a reality... and if we do, the sch'll come down to support us.... that was jig's dream too... to have the sch come down and cheer on the NANYANG rugby team.... let's do it for the many nanyang ruggers before us, the future nanyang ruggers... and most importantly.... let's do it for ourselves... to prove our worth....