Friday, November 28, 2008

Good Music, Good Life

Alright!! Forever the Sickest Kid has an album. Haha, actually I think it came out a few months ago. But I wasn't really looking out for it. But now it's out, woots!!

Sister Hazel - Your Mistake

Good song.
I wanna be good
I wanna be great
I wanna everything except for your mistake...

goodness. what lyrics. simple and yet so impactful.

I just found out that I have to write all the songs for the Hall Production Musical by the 20th of Dec. HAHA! 1x jialat jialat. They want to include the lyrics of the songs in the programme booklet which is really cool. But it also pushes up my schedule but about a month. AHHH!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I'm done

Okay. This post is probably overdue. It's Thursday and I finished my papers three days ago. I probably should do some self-reflection and a post-mortem on the semester that has passed. But a post-mortem would be much more significant when they find my body in two weeks time after the results are posted.

Seriously, a borderline student's best friends are moderation and method marks.

Oh well. Looks like it's going to be a bust month for me. I have alot of stuff that needs to be taken care of.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Living in silence, dying incognito.
The solitary soul stares at His own reflection.
All around turtle doves in the human form walk by.
Do they notice him? Is He worth their second glance?

Thoughts of the respite of Darkness try to comfort Him
As He walks through the desolate roads of His mind.
Thoughts of the cool nothingness of Darkness.
Thoughts that are quickly banished from existence.

For He is not as a swaying weed is weak,
He cannot be so easily brought to His knees.
Persevere! He cries to the army of those like Him.
Live! He preaches to those who wish to hear.

With resolute hands, He unbinds the man made shackles.
Reunited with Liberty lost, His heart once again beats.
Not with blood alone but with passion now unbridled
For His heart does not just live for the physical realm

He turns to the burdens He once bore as they lie waiting.
And waiting is all they ever will be.
Held back He was but a lonesome man.
Freed He is alive.

Monday, November 17, 2008


Dammit. I just want to drop dead. I'm staring at my notes and they don't make sense to me at all. I was staring at a past year paper which just compounded the issue by making it all too clear how much I don't know.

I still can't figure out why I took on so many commitments outside of school. Yet another mistake to chalk up to my unending list of lifetime mistakes. By the time I'm done with all the other stuff, I'm just too tired to do any proper schoolwork. The backlag of stuff unlearnt is the restitution for all the time spent over the past three months doing everything else.

I'm not saying that I regret joining in on all these activities and meeting great new people (and not so great people as well), but it's just that I now feel my priorities were set in all the wrong places.

I just want to die. Right here, right now. Am I a strong person? No. I just can't face the consequence of my actions or rather my inaction.

Catholic Penitential Rite
I have sinned through my own fault ... in what I've done and what I've failed to do ...

Strong words. And a good prayer for forgiveness.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Illusionist

Deceit. No, it's not the chair that you are sitting on.

It's the way that your mind plays tricks on you. It's the way your emotions make you think one thing at one moment and something else at the next.

Is it a lie the way that I feel? Possibly. And as the days go by, the more likely it seems. The gut instinct that I may have yet again made a bad judgement call accrues with time. Too many people knew of this decision before it was formally thought through. Which makes it hard for me to back out of my choice.

No. I'm neither wallowing in despair nor hiding in the shadows. I am but marching to a beat that is not from my drum.

I am as a small boat in the ocean. Sailing under my own power albeit controlled by the drifting currents of other people's opinions.

I can't write freely here. It's not right.