Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What is MY destiny?

In Greek mythology, the Fates were these three women that spun, measured and cut lengths of string that symbolised one's life, immortal or mortal. They would decide how long your string would be and how it intertwined with the other pieces of string that they cut. It was said that even Zeus was subject to the influence of the Fates' weaving.

It really makes you wonder. What if there really are three women somewhere on some island, long forgotten by the likes of the mortals living on this earth, spinning and weaving the threads of life into the most intricate web of connections, chance meetings and fleeting encounters. Have you ever walked past someone in a crowded place, turned around to get a second look only to find that she has disappeared into the crowd never to be seen again? That brush of your two strings coming into contact but not woven together is something inexplicable.

Being the day dreamer that I am, I've always imagined myself surfing the web of lives that the Fates are constantly weaving. Going from one life to another at the instant that they brush against each other. Imagining myself living out their lives, living their encounters and again skipping along to the next person as they walk past each other, interacting only with their eyes. And finally getting back to my life as the connections eventually connect to a brief encounter with the empty shell that is my body.

Yet another day dream I have again involves me leaving my body and floating through the void in time-space looking at the tapestry that the Fates weave. Trying to find the line that is mine is impossibly hard and even when I do find a section of it, it's impossible to follow. Desperately trying to figure out how my life continues, my eyes scan over the incomprehensible design that emerges from the loom. Strings of different colours, lengths, thicknesses. All combine to form a picture that is a work of art though you cannot explain why. As your eyes pass over the weave, your eyes see but your mind is unable to process what you're seeing and you forget what you have seen in the web the moment your eyes pass over it.

The Fates return to the room and catch me trying to understand their logic and patterns. They chase me out of the room and I'm left outside attempting to recall whatever I have seen. But nothing seems to come to me.

What is our destinies? Are we controlled by some immortal beings that twist and tangle our lives to a whim? Or do we really have control over what we do?

Are our decisions already made for us by destiny or to we have to ability to change where our strings are headed and take into our hands what we truly want?

Questions, though rhetorical, that are important that we answer for ourselves. The irony of my last statement does not escape me. For I myself have not taken my life fully under my control. My string is still being shifted and woven by forces unseen and hands controlled by others. When is it too late for me to take control? What is MY destiny?

Friday, August 15, 2008


Every now and then, life get's complicated. It's not anything major but all the small little things that add up and form just one big mess.

In hall there are tons of cats that just amble around daily, meowing when they want food and perching themselves on ledges and stuff surveying their "kingdoms". Sigh. If only our lives could be as carefree as that. I guess that just comes with the territory as a sentient being. Knowing and understanding your surroundings in such an abstract manner is both a blessing and a curse. Many animals communicate through obvious and standard sets of actions and vocalisations. But humans have this tendancy to pass messages through often unseen and unheard mediums.

We are not telepathic!! At least not most of us. Mostly, we're just PATHEtic. That we all imagine ourselves here on Earth to fulfil some great destiny and become legends. I don't understand what is wrong with just BEING. No, I did not omit anything. I mean being as in just existing in this Earth for sole purpose of taking up otherwise unused space. What's with all the politic-ing and the scheming, etc? Why can't we all just exist together.

Enough randoming. It's 5.30 and I have lecture in 4 hrs. Bah!

[edit] [15/08/2008 @ 1424h] I missed the leacture. zzzzz.... [/edit]

Monday, August 11, 2008


The first week of school has been kinda weird. Mixed feelings. It was nice to get back to some form of intellectual stimulation but at the same time, my mental inertia is not letting me get anything substantial into my head. honestly, hall life is a little stressful. you gotta think about how to get enough points to stay in hall. and then you obviously have to contend for modules. and keep your grades up (which is the main reason that you're there, lest ye forget).

hall camp was seriously fun. had to throw away one of my singlets cuz it was too far beyond saving. with the flour and the eggs and the tao yu and the chilli sauce and whatever other nonsense they threw on us, my singlet actually went stiff.

but as a new week looms around the corner, the realisation of how much my timetable actually sucks is beginning to set in. on Mondays, i have four hours of lab work, an hour's break and lectures for another four hours. DIE!!! my Tuesdays are completely different. a two hour lect in the morning after which i have to wait till 1630h for my next class. Super WTF right?