Life... its never easy to understand it

life is confusing and complex... i don't think the most brilliant philosopher will ever be able to answer the most fundamental question.... why are we here.....
there is no real answer to that question.... its rhetorical yet relevant to everyone.....
each person has to answer this question for themselves.... no one can tell them the answer to it... and i haven't been able to answer it for myself yet.....

i don't know what i've been put into this world for.... what am i supposed to accomplish in my time here... the closest i ever came to answering it was in sec three confirmation camp... i had some time to myself as we sat in a dark room in total silence to think about my past, present and my future.... i know that i prob wanna go into the teaching profession.... not just because almost all of my family were at one point in their careers been a teacher or an instructor.... but because i feel a connection to the whole school scene.... its a familiar environment and feel comfortable being in a school..... at least i have reached somewhere near solving the unsolvable..... maybe the reason why everyone says ''life sucks lah'' could be because they haven't identified their purpose...

actually i haven't really come as close to answering my problems as i seem to have come..... i still kinda feel that i'm studying without a purpose.... i still don't understand what all the crap that i have to study will help me in the real world.... when i'm driving there is no way that i will use some physics formula to work out how far i will take to stop if i apply a constant braking force of 200N one second after i see a red traffic light.... (okay.... so i'm full of bullshit.... but who the fuck cares.. haha....)

at least i have begun to engage in some form of studying... i actually did my maths tutorial by myself.... doesn't sound like much.... but to me it is.... i'm kinda proud of myself for doing that..... haha... hopefully i'll be able to keep up this change of heart for as long as i'm in Nanyang.... i haven't been one to stick to resolutions....

but i'm going to try....

wait... master yoda was right.... there is no try....
i'm going to do it.....