Monday, November 10, 2008

The Illusionist

Deceit. No, it's not the chair that you are sitting on.

It's the way that your mind plays tricks on you. It's the way your emotions make you think one thing at one moment and something else at the next.

Is it a lie the way that I feel? Possibly. And as the days go by, the more likely it seems. The gut instinct that I may have yet again made a bad judgement call accrues with time. Too many people knew of this decision before it was formally thought through. Which makes it hard for me to back out of my choice.

No. I'm neither wallowing in despair nor hiding in the shadows. I am but marching to a beat that is not from my drum.

I am as a small boat in the ocean. Sailing under my own power albeit controlled by the drifting currents of other people's opinions.

I can't write freely here. It's not right.

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