::go screw yourself::
you know what.... i fucking hate you.... you know why i don't respect you.... cuz you've never given me a reason to... i don't see why i shd respect a old fag like you when you have never given me anything my whole life...
you wanna see what failing really looks like... i can show you all Fs for my midyears.... fucking hell... i can show you zeros if you want.... you think it's so fucking easy to do a lvls... den you bloody go do it yourself.... juz cuz you don't see me studying at home doesn't mean that i'm out somewhere slacking all the day away.... at least altho i have spent alot of time on CCA, i have done what i can to struggle to keep up.... at least i can understand what's going on in class....
i know what has to be done... and i'll bloody do it when the time comes.... you think i want to waste two fucking years in JC... it's my life... i know much better than you ever will what i want to do with it.... don't tell me that you nagging constantly is going to help me pass my fucking papers.... i know way better than you want i have to deliver for the A's...
i may not become a doctor, a lawyer or land some other big shot job... but that's not what i want in life anyway so why the hell shd i work for that....
i think it was the wrong decision to go to JC...
so what abt the "prestige" of being in a JC... it is just another endless road to no where... this world really has no appeal to me.... what am i striving for... a fucking piece of paper after two years of struggling thru test after test...
and after that, another "educational" institution and another few years of crap....
what for.... what's the point of it all... all the money in the world doesn't really mean anything to me... i just want a quiet job which gets me enough to support a family comfortably... i don't want a gigantic mansion in bukit timah... a four- or five-room HDB flat will do just fine... expensive food for dinner? makan frm the market would be so much more filling and enjoyable....
you know what... i'm on the verge of just giving up... i really don't see the point arguing anymore... it doesn't solve anything... nothing has meaning, nothing has purpose anymore... the easy way out looks awful tempting right now....
Monday, May 23, 2005
::living in a dream world::
that's it.... friday was the last game that we would play tgr as a team...
i didn't know that anyone could be so happy when they lost... but we were on top of the world that day.... 24-10... who thought it could have been so close.... two tries scored... and i swear.... if we had scored in the first half like we threatened to do, things might have been very very different...
i wanted to be on the field when the ref blew the final whistle.... but too bad i had to go off into the blood bin.... oh well...
i can't believe that it's finally over... a year of hard work and sweat... the difficulties we experienced as a team and the disagreements that we have endured...
i can't imagine my life if i had joined another CCA.... things would be really very different... and cliched as it may sound, given the chance, i wouldn't have it done any other way....
there are so many things that i wanna say, but i just can't think of it right now...
i'll miss you guys... this past year was the best time of my life....
wad jamal said really sums up what i wanna say....
"SAJC may be listed as the third, but NYJC is no. 1 in my heart"
::end of days::
it's finally over... the supposedly "last" installment of the Star Wars saga is out... caught it on saturday night.... i don't know... somehow i still prefer the original three cuz it was more real... and not as much computer graphics were used....
haha... i guess the main appeal of the movie was everyone needed closure.... everyone knows what will happen.... anakin will turn to the dark side, the jedis will get killed, chancellor palpatine will become the new emperor with his clone troopers by his side, padme will die in child birth and she'll give birth to twins... but i think everyone just wants to see how it happens... the details of what unfolded in a galaxy far far away....
haha... i'm kind of a self proclaimed Star Wars buff... i don't know everything abt the series... but i do know more than the average person... i think....
that's it.... friday was the last game that we would play tgr as a team...
i didn't know that anyone could be so happy when they lost... but we were on top of the world that day.... 24-10... who thought it could have been so close.... two tries scored... and i swear.... if we had scored in the first half like we threatened to do, things might have been very very different...
i wanted to be on the field when the ref blew the final whistle.... but too bad i had to go off into the blood bin.... oh well...
i can't believe that it's finally over... a year of hard work and sweat... the difficulties we experienced as a team and the disagreements that we have endured...
i can't imagine my life if i had joined another CCA.... things would be really very different... and cliched as it may sound, given the chance, i wouldn't have it done any other way....
there are so many things that i wanna say, but i just can't think of it right now...
i'll miss you guys... this past year was the best time of my life....
wad jamal said really sums up what i wanna say....
"SAJC may be listed as the third, but NYJC is no. 1 in my heart"
::end of days::
it's finally over... the supposedly "last" installment of the Star Wars saga is out... caught it on saturday night.... i don't know... somehow i still prefer the original three cuz it was more real... and not as much computer graphics were used....
haha... i guess the main appeal of the movie was everyone needed closure.... everyone knows what will happen.... anakin will turn to the dark side, the jedis will get killed, chancellor palpatine will become the new emperor with his clone troopers by his side, padme will die in child birth and she'll give birth to twins... but i think everyone just wants to see how it happens... the details of what unfolded in a galaxy far far away....
haha... i'm kind of a self proclaimed Star Wars buff... i don't know everything abt the series... but i do know more than the average person... i think....
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
::semis::
made it thru to the semis... for the first time in NYJC rugby history... feels damn good to be a part of that history making.... plus we got a pretty nice mention in the article on the SRU homepage... haha....
it really is quite a milestone to us... cuz we've come thru a year of hard work to get here.... what is so amazing is that all of our year two players which make up a large majority of the first team did not touch a rugby ball b4 we came into jc...
well... not really a big surprise to many out there... we lost to ACJC in the semis... there was some real good plays though and we didn't really give them an easy time.. in fact, in the first half we forced a lot of drop balls from them and we did manage to pass the ball out to the wing once or twice... it is rather comforting to know that altho they have had many more yrs of experience, are fitter and faster, we did what we could to deal with the situation....
::studying?::
haha... i'm super proud of myself... i actually did the Poisson dist tutorial... okie.. i didn't do the last two qns cuz i don't have a maths TYS... but i did the rest with no prob... and actually got them right the first time i did them... some ppl may ask what's the big deal... but it is quite an a achievement for me... i'm really bad in maths and to be able to do the tutorial is really a boost for my confidence if not my ego....
::acknowledgements::
haha... peiwen has asked me to mention in my post that she is sitting in the com lab next to me.... i think i better listen to her... i don't want her to empty out her water bottle on me.. haha...
made it thru to the semis... for the first time in NYJC rugby history... feels damn good to be a part of that history making.... plus we got a pretty nice mention in the article on the SRU homepage... haha....
it really is quite a milestone to us... cuz we've come thru a year of hard work to get here.... what is so amazing is that all of our year two players which make up a large majority of the first team did not touch a rugby ball b4 we came into jc...
well... not really a big surprise to many out there... we lost to ACJC in the semis... there was some real good plays though and we didn't really give them an easy time.. in fact, in the first half we forced a lot of drop balls from them and we did manage to pass the ball out to the wing once or twice... it is rather comforting to know that altho they have had many more yrs of experience, are fitter and faster, we did what we could to deal with the situation....
::studying?::
haha... i'm super proud of myself... i actually did the Poisson dist tutorial... okie.. i didn't do the last two qns cuz i don't have a maths TYS... but i did the rest with no prob... and actually got them right the first time i did them... some ppl may ask what's the big deal... but it is quite an a achievement for me... i'm really bad in maths and to be able to do the tutorial is really a boost for my confidence if not my ego....
::acknowledgements::
haha... peiwen has asked me to mention in my post that she is sitting in the com lab next to me.... i think i better listen to her... i don't want her to empty out her water bottle on me.. haha...
Thursday, May 12, 2005
::we're there::
29-0 and NYJC is thru.... next up AC... i disagree with jamal.. it's not going to be three times harder than today's match... it'll be five times as hard... not saying anything abt SR... they're a good side... it's just that AC is really like another step up....
i just don't think that i'm good enuf to reach that level anymore... i used to be very self-confident... i would have that swagger... but suddenly i have that feeling of inadequecy... i used to play games and feel proud of what i've done in the match... i'm very sure that i can send out balls much better that what i gave BX today... i'm positive that i've given better service in the past... otherwise i wouldn't have earned jamal's confidence to let me start wearing the no.9 jersey....
i bloody hell don't want to face the embarassment of an 80 plus match against AC... but i feel bloody weak... worn to the bone... burnt out....
wad's wrong....
i'm bloody unhappy abt today's match... no doubt a win is a win... but we didn't follow the game plan at all... nothing really went right....
no making excuses for my bad performance.... but the ref really was a bit wierd.... there were alot of calls that went against me... he called at least two or three one-sided feeds into the scrums... but i'm very sure that it was straight.... i don't know lar.. forget it.... no point in talking abt something that is over...
::stuck::
i don't know what to do lar... i just feel like telling her and just getting it over with... but it's kinda like playing a double-or-nothing... or i might even break even and everything will go back to the way it was.... anything is better than just standing ard and being just a shadow... the invisible man.... someone who is just there... yet at the same time nowhere.... contradiction... i think not... cuz that's the way it is....
or shd i just go back to my trademark NG, NE and forget everything...
29-0 and NYJC is thru.... next up AC... i disagree with jamal.. it's not going to be three times harder than today's match... it'll be five times as hard... not saying anything abt SR... they're a good side... it's just that AC is really like another step up....
i just don't think that i'm good enuf to reach that level anymore... i used to be very self-confident... i would have that swagger... but suddenly i have that feeling of inadequecy... i used to play games and feel proud of what i've done in the match... i'm very sure that i can send out balls much better that what i gave BX today... i'm positive that i've given better service in the past... otherwise i wouldn't have earned jamal's confidence to let me start wearing the no.9 jersey....
i bloody hell don't want to face the embarassment of an 80 plus match against AC... but i feel bloody weak... worn to the bone... burnt out....
wad's wrong....
i'm bloody unhappy abt today's match... no doubt a win is a win... but we didn't follow the game plan at all... nothing really went right....
no making excuses for my bad performance.... but the ref really was a bit wierd.... there were alot of calls that went against me... he called at least two or three one-sided feeds into the scrums... but i'm very sure that it was straight.... i don't know lar.. forget it.... no point in talking abt something that is over...
::stuck::
i don't know what to do lar... i just feel like telling her and just getting it over with... but it's kinda like playing a double-or-nothing... or i might even break even and everything will go back to the way it was.... anything is better than just standing ard and being just a shadow... the invisible man.... someone who is just there... yet at the same time nowhere.... contradiction... i think not... cuz that's the way it is....
or shd i just go back to my trademark NG, NE and forget everything...
Friday, May 06, 2005
::fire's back::
oh man.... today was just superb... forwards were just fantastic...
final score NYJC 13-JJC 3... two tries, one from LOBA and one from gerald mok sealed it in the second half after we made it to the break tied 3 all.... despite some scares early on and going down to a penalty early in the game, we fought back... and that's what i love abt this team... we don't let anything bring us down....
nanyang rangers.... hrm.... sounds good... don't you think...
it was quite an emotional win... after what happened last year... i bet the year twos and esp BX would rmbr.... and it felt good to get the better of them at their home ground in front of their home fans...
congrats to LOBA... so happy for him... first try... it really must feel fantastic... haha....
let's go guys... just a little bit more til we start writing history for Nanyang Junior College.... never felt so patriotic to a sch b4... amazing...
oh man.... today was just superb... forwards were just fantastic...
final score NYJC 13-JJC 3... two tries, one from LOBA and one from gerald mok sealed it in the second half after we made it to the break tied 3 all.... despite some scares early on and going down to a penalty early in the game, we fought back... and that's what i love abt this team... we don't let anything bring us down....
nanyang rangers.... hrm.... sounds good... don't you think...
it was quite an emotional win... after what happened last year... i bet the year twos and esp BX would rmbr.... and it felt good to get the better of them at their home ground in front of their home fans...
congrats to LOBA... so happy for him... first try... it really must feel fantastic... haha....
let's go guys... just a little bit more til we start writing history for Nanyang Junior College.... never felt so patriotic to a sch b4... amazing...
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