::masochistic behavior::
it's not that i don't wanna forget and move on.
but somehow i'm not letting myself make peace with facts that i know i have to live with and cannot do anything about. i keep tearing myself up and feeling sorry for myself and i feel like a bastard for doing this to myself. i'd like to think that i'm more mature that this. it all seems so childish.
oh yes i'm the great pretender.
i'd like to fool myself into thinking i'm okay.


"i was over it before. but you brought me back to where i began.", I said to myself.

the only thing that is preventing me from being happy is Me.
forget it boy. it's time to get moving. there are more important things to concern yourself with. this is but an obstacle on the road to your own success. nothing more. jump over it and get on with the race. don't think about what doesn't involve you any longer.