::we're there::
29-0 and NYJC is thru.... next up AC... i disagree with jamal.. it's not going to be three times harder than today's match... it'll be five times as hard... not saying anything abt SR... they're a good side... it's just that AC is really like another step up....
i just don't think that i'm good enuf to reach that level anymore... i used to be very self-confident... i would have that swagger... but suddenly i have that feeling of inadequecy... i used to play games and feel proud of what i've done in the match... i'm very sure that i can send out balls much better that what i gave BX today... i'm positive that i've given better service in the past... otherwise i wouldn't have earned jamal's confidence to let me start wearing the no.9 jersey....
i bloody hell don't want to face the embarassment of an 80 plus match against AC... but i feel bloody weak... worn to the bone... burnt out....
wad's wrong....
i'm bloody unhappy abt today's match... no doubt a win is a win... but we didn't follow the game plan at all... nothing really went right....
no making excuses for my bad performance.... but the ref really was a bit wierd.... there were alot of calls that went against me... he called at least two or three one-sided feeds into the scrums... but i'm very sure that it was straight.... i don't know lar.. forget it.... no point in talking abt something that is over...

::stuck::
i don't know what to do lar... i just feel like telling her and just getting it over with... but it's kinda like playing a double-or-nothing... or i might even break even and everything will go back to the way it was.... anything is better than just standing ard and being just a shadow... the invisible man.... someone who is just there... yet at the same time nowhere.... contradiction... i think not... cuz that's the way it is....
or shd i just go back to my trademark NG, NE and forget everything...