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totally frustrated... can't seem to think.. can't seem to focus on anything...
wad de hell... no matter what i do i can't seem to get anything right...
i know it takes hard work to get anywhere in this world.. but all the effort that i try and put into my work just goes nowhere... so what's the point...

everyone says that you must have the HEART and the PASSION for what you do... but i have NO HEART and NO PASSION for the stuff that i'm supposed to be "learning" in school... i don't see how it's going to help me... i'm not going to use complex numbers in real life situations... what... am i going to be paying $(8+3i) for a loaf of bread....

i know this is the path that i have chosen... i'm gonna have to stick with it all the way... but is it really worth it, now that i look back? what would my life be like if i didn't chose to come to NY... obviously i wouldn't have meet such great ppl like the ruggers, 04S4B, the teachers like mrs chong.... would my life be different if i had gone to poly? more imptly... would it be better?

you cannot escape hard work... and i'm not trying too... my point is that was JC the wisest choice for me to take? is it the best path to success?

totally aimless... that's what i am... the reason that i came to JC was that i didn't know what i wanted to do in the future... therefore chosing a course that i had interest in in poly was near impossible... what i did was only delaying the time that i had to make a definate decision on what i wanted to do... i do not suggest that to anyone that is considering btwn JC and poly... have a goal.. an aim... go do some research on jobs and their scope... find something that you have a passion for and find out what you need to qualify for the job... don't make my mistake... decide early...

they say not to dream and be practical... become a lawyer... a doctor... businessman... find some high-paying job and live happily ever after...
but truely... i would not be happy with any of these jobs.. i have no heart for it...
sure it's high-paying but i would be forcing myself through day after day of doing something that i don't LOVE...
i don't have many talents.... at least i haven't found any yet...
i'm just mediocre in everything... i do okay... but not exceptionally well....


what am i to do.....