Blasted into Oblivion

I think I'm a very self destructive person. I get too easily affected by distractions around me and problems that don't exist. It's like I just get pulled into a downward spiral created by my own doing (and often by things that I don't do). I let myself fall behind and once I see the backlog, I don't do anything to clear it so everything compounds itself and I end up falling further and further into debt. Not monetary debt but in terms of work and school and other stuff...

It's a very human tendency to want what we cannot get. We look at what others have and wish for the same. But sometimes it's not even within our ability to achieve. The grass is always greener on the other side. It's not so much of a fact as a perception. We don't realise what we have already and we look longingly at the lives of others and try to draw parallels. Why can't we have what they have? Why is life so unfair to us?

Questions that do not make sense since those whose lives we crave often look at ourselves and wonder the same things.

I admit. I am one of those that look around and long after things that are not mine to take. The forbidden fruit is always sweeter.

Can they?

While all the hooha is going on about Obama's Inauguration, I'm keeping myself optimistic without being overly excited. I do acknowledge that Obama is a very intelligent man and an excellent public speaker able to rouse the masses, but one has to bear in mind that so far all he has done is talk and he's promised many things. It has yet to be seen if he can and will deliver all the changes that he said will bring the American economy back up.

Although many would not like to admit it, it is a fact that most of the world's economy depends on the US. Many countries still peg or use the US Dollar to measure the strength of their own currency and a lot of international trade still depends on America. Wall Street and the Dow Jones affects pretty much every stock exchange around the world. America's foreign policies also affect global markets as in the case of the highly unpopular wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

It's global influence is easily attributed to the sheer size of the US economy and the US market. Trading in billions of dollars doesn't allow you to merely sit back and enjoy the show. Decisions made in the US market have repercussions all over. And as a consumer market, the size of the American population makes it an extremely attractive hunting ground for exporters from other nations.

I do not expect things to change overnight. It's an extremely naive notion that the world will change with the swearing in of a new American president. But this first year will be a critical year for the Obama team. American voters are a jittery bunch. If they do not see progress and jobs being created, sooner or later, Obama's inspirational messages of "Change" will start to fall on deaf ears.

It will take not only a man to change America's situation but the entire country to work together to bring themselves up and dust themselves off. And what I'm afraid of is that Americans will sit back and wait for this man to get the job done and solve their problems for them. What American needs now is not a miracle man. They need a man to bring them together to get the job done as a collective.

I do believe that they've done the right thing in electing him. But I don't believe that the efforts of one man alone can fix the problems that they're facing now.

Tired. But satisfied.

Well. Hall One has got off to a pretty good start in the inter-hall rugby. We played reasonably well against one of our main rivals for the title, Hall 2. Though we lost, we still made it though to the quarters although we were made to play an extra game to get there.

It's been a long time since I've played a 10's tournament like this so I'm really tired out. Aches and pains, but it's all good.

Rehearsal today was really excellent as well. I got to hear Omar and Dhaniah sing one of songs I wrote for the emotional climax of the whole musical. And it was awesome. As an amateur song-writer, most of the stuff that I write often gets lost or forgotten somewhere. So to hear my song sung with such feeling and emotion and with Samantha on the piano bringing the song to life, it was such a gratifying feeling. It kinda made all the late nights writing and rehearsing with them all worthwhile.

With everything finally starting to fall in place with the music and the scenes and the actors and the props etc. etc. etc., it's a really exciting time for [s.t.a.r] Productions. 22 Feb. A date to mark down on your calenders.

this stage is just my facade

AT LAST!

I'm done writing all of the songs for hall prod. It was just a burden off my back.
I honestly enjoyed writing them cuz it was all themed and I could be really corny with the lyrics. But it was creatively and emotionally draining. With all the other stuff that's been going on in my life, it was kinda hard to get the right emotion for certain songs.

But yes! They are all finally out and the process of arranging and perfecting the songs has begun. That, frankly, is the easy part. What was not easy was staying up late in the night with the production deadline coming up the next morning and a tutorial sitting untouched due the exact same day.

Haha, I was wondering what would it have been like if I hadn't signed up as the Music Director and joined as a cast member. Fun of a different kind I guess.

School today was awesome. I went for lecture and at the end of the lecture, the prof started handing out a surprise test.

(cue cursing and swearing from students)

But lo! To my surprise, and the rest of the people around me for that matter, I knew how to do every single question. Haha. Elation soon turned to misery as the prof announced that this surprise test would not be graded and instead used as a self-test for us to gauge our abilities.

(cue cursing and swearing from just me this time)

Oh well. I guess somethings are just not meant to be. Que sera sera.....

BIATCH

My month of January is packed to the max. I have something on pretty much every night of the week. If it's not OMC, it's Hall Prod, if not it's NRC. I honestly like being busy and doing stuff, but sometimes I'd like some actual quiet time not having to worry about deadlines, rehearsal scheduling, proposals and meeting sponsors etc. I'd like to just find some time to just absolutely do nothing. And by nothing, I mean NOTHING.

My ideal holiday. I'd rather go to some remote location in the middle of nowhere and chill out by the lake, or the beach. I don't need to do anything to enjoy the holiday. I'd just like to go somewhere to chillax.

Don't get me wrong. If I could, I'd still like to travel and see the sights. But there are times that I just want to get away the big cities and crowds.

My timetable this sem is pretty decent. 'Cept for Mondays. Which will yet again suck. I have two 2 hrs lectures in the morning, lab in the afternoon and some elective class in the evening. I'll be in school from 0830 to 2030. Yeap that's 12 whole freaking hours. On the up side, I have a free day on weds. Which will actually be used to catch up on admin stuff and assignments. But at least I have that time to work with.

I'll actually be glad once febuary is done with. I'll have two major events off my back and I can get back to doing some actual work. I hope.

different year, same ol' shit

So it's 2009. Sorry if I'm exactly jumping around and singing the new year in. But gimme a break. It's not like something remarkable happens at the stroke of midnight on Jan 1st.

I guess the start of the year has been kinda hectic. Lots of stuff to do and no time to do all of it. All this in between the family gatherings and meeting different groups of friends. I'm just dry.

Too much to think about as well. I just wonder.