Tuesday, June 29, 2004

girls.......

went to chomp chomp on monday evening with boon, lor bah, guo feng and wei an...
i don't know how it happened.... but we got onto the subject of girls....
i got me thinking when i got home... why do guys like a gal so much that it drives them to points of insanity... and why would a guy still like a gal when she is clearly not interested.... haiz... well... i still haven't come up with an ans.... if you do find a ans... call me....
well.. as most of you know.... i like this girl... she's really super cute and got a damn nice personality... but things aren't really that great right now... okay fine... they're not good at all... i don't know how to express in words what i wanna say right now... but i'm getting very doubtful of my chances with her.... i don't think that i was ever meant to be with her..... and yet i still can't stop thinking of her... hrm...
coincedently... i've had a crush on a gal with the same name as her before... things didn't go real well either... haha... maybe i'm just not meant to be with a girl named p***... haha...
i don't think that i wanna continue "chasing" her anymore... it's kinda pointless... as my fav reggae singer bob marley says.... no woman no cry.... i think that is one the wisest thing anyone has said...
the virtues of being single and not looking... no expensive phone bills after msging her like mad... no need to spend tons of money everytime you bring her out.... no need to be a perfect gentleman 24/7....
its not that i don't want to msg her like mad... its not that i don't want to spend tons of money on her... and it is not that i don't want to be a perfect gentleman for her sake...
but i just have a feeling that if i msg her like mad, she'll get a restraining order....
if i spend tons of money on her, i'll go bankrupt and still not have her....
and if i'm a perfect gentleman 24/7, i'll explode cuz of the pressure of the fart i'll be holding in (and still not get her)....
i think it shd be pretty obvious to you guys how hopeless case it is right now... hope you guys understand....
"Being loved by someone you don't love is irritating. Loving someone who doesn't love you is tragic; but loving someone who loves you is a dream."
take note of the words in bold.... that truely sums up my situation right now....
haha.... kinda out of ironry... KC and JoJo's All My Life is playing on my winamp player... its set to shuffle the tracks and it just so happened to start playing this song just as i was typing this post....
is it a sign... maybe it is... maybe it isn't....
but i've more or less made up my mind.... no woman no cry....

if the mid years are like this, what am i going to do during promos!!!

haiz.... i haven't been bloggin for the past few days cuz of the mid years....
so far i think i've flunked maths and chinese... right now GP and physics are my only hopes for passing...
yest was GP and chinese... the GP went quite okay... but sitting down in LT2 for three straight hours without a break is really no joke... butt pain sia... haha... hopefully i manage to impress the teachers enough with my essay to pass and hopefully my compre was okay enough to pass too....
chinese though totally sucks... haha... i haven't been able to pass chinese since like primary two so what makes people think i'm gonna start passing now... haha... i'm supposed to be a chinese dude... but i seriously doubt the anybody took a look at me before putting chinese as my race... haha.. seriously.... i'm the "black black" ah cek okay...
well.. chinese as usual was pretty much a good chance to catch up on sleep... i finished the paper in about an hour... not because i'm super pro and the paper was chicken... but because i had done all that i could do... haha... i actually pretty much copied the whole compre passage.... i know that you don't really get a lot of marks that way... but at this point, i'll take any marks that i can get...
after the paper i went to the library with the ruggers planning to study... STUDY!! HAH!!! not going to happen... i had promised to myself that i would really study cuz of the maths exam the next day.... but as a wise old man said.... promises made to yourself are the easiest to break... haha...
i wish i was more disciplined... like lor bah and wei an... i think that they really managed to get some work done...
the effects of the slacking i did in the library showed today... on the first glance at the paper, i know that i was really screwed.... i was screwed up, down, left, right, centre, in, out, inside out, upside down and all around... there was actually more questions that i didn't know how to do than questions that i didn't know how to do... i can bravely say that if i pass this maths paper i will cut off my little brother in front of the whole sch during wednesday assembly... there... its in black and white.. you can quote me later....
its one bet that i'm sure i won't lose....
well... i hope not... if not it's goodbye junior bong....

Saturday, June 26, 2004

what to do with my life??

well... i'm back on the subject of mid years.... what can i do.... its saturday and the exams start on monday... i still haven't really done that much studying... i have a very bad feeling that i'm gonna flunk the mid-years real bad....
no mood to study sia... as soon as i get my econs file out i doze off... or else i lose concentration and start doing something else.... haiz... i don't know what to do...
i have a theory why i don't have the motivation to study... i thought about it and i discovered i didn't really know what i want to do in the future... i don't really know what kind of job i wanna take... at first i thought i wanted to go into either engineering or teaching... but come to think of it.... i'm not really sure that that is where my passions lie... so if i don't even know what i want to do with my life what am i studying for... basically i'm just going to sch for the sake of going to sch....
how am i supposed to study when i don't know what i'm going to do with my education once i've finished... if only there was a way for me to take a break frm sch and find my path in life first then come back... but i doubt it's possible....
i just don't know where i'm going to be five years frm now.... i mean... most ppl have an aim in life... ya know... most ppl have a vision to where they wanna go after each stage of education.... but i'm just going with the flow without an aim... maybe it's my fault that i didn't think of this sooner but that's in the past... i have to find a solution to my prob ASAP....
if i don't... i'll just prob drop out and start working or sumthing....
remember that cabbie... the one that came to pick me and my sis after the LP concert... well... he was saying that our generation was very lucky that we have the opportunity to complete our studies.... but i just don't know... i feel lucky to receive an education up to JC level... but i don't know what is the use of having this education.... i don't know what i'm studying for... i don't know what i'm gonna do with this education once i'm out in the workforce....
i'm just very frustrated right now... do you know the feeling where you want to be something... you want to be a somebody... but you don't know what kinda somebody you want to be... that's how i feel...
i want to make it in this world... i want to be respected and seen as a somebody... but i don't know what i what to do and i don't know how to get there....
i know there is quite a lot of "i don't know"s in this post... but that really sums up the way i feel right now....
i don't know....

Friday, June 25, 2004

MID-YEARS!!!!!

OMG.... mid-years are in like three days time... not exactly a lot of time left to mug... haiz... i haven't really been doing that great in sch.... barely scraping thru test and flunking a few.... not the way that i wanna go thru sch life... i'm beginning to regret going to JC... i guess i'm just tired of the whole idea of school... if it wasn't for rugby i probably wouldn't have stayed in JC...
all of my sec sch frens have gone to poly... i'm one of the very few peicaians in JC and the only guy frm my class to go to JC.... my god...
come to think of it... i don't like studying... haha... truthfully.... who does...
o levels didn't really need me to mug over books and to last minute cramming n stuff... but a levels is very different... studying is actually required.... haha... looking back i didn't really study for my o levels (prob explains my results) and still managed to get in to JC... when you're in sec sch you see o levels as the end of your sch life.... but immediately after the o levels you are thrown face first into JC... there the environment is totally different.... i've adapted to the sch life but i haven't been able to adapt to the work... you didn't really have to do much work in sec sch and still pass your exams.... but now if you don't study you can't even pass your common tests...
haiz... maybe i just need some motivation to study..... but i don't know when that motivation will come... it better come soon.....

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

LINKIN PARK TOTALLY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!

oh man... the concert ended like over an hour ago and i'm still so psyched out... wow... man... they really held up their reputation as the best live band our generation has to offer....
lemme start frm the beginning... i met boon outside sch at bout 2.30... then we went to his house so that he could bathe and change... after that we made our way down to the padang to meet my sis, her friend and her friend's brother.... we waited there til like almost 7 when they started letting people in... actually that's a lie... me and boon went to walk around city link mall to get them drinks.... haha... we didn't exactly rush back to waiting so we killed about 40 mins that way... hehe...
when they finally let ppl we managed to get good places almost at the front of the $85 ppl... of course we were still bout 60++ metres away frm the stage cuz of the $150 ppl... haha... PIA opened for LP... they're some korean group that seriously sounds like a korean version of LP.... they're songs are quite similar... except PIA's songs are in korean... DUH!!! they were actually quite okay... but they didn't really receive a good response frm the crowd.... i think its cuz everyone was there to see LP and PIA was in the way frm us getting to see LP... haha
but when LP finally came on.... WOAH MAMMA!!!! they opened with "Don't Stay" frm Meteora... and closed with "One step closer".... damn funky sia... plus they played "a place for my head" and got a guy to come up to do the "you try to take the best of me... GO AWAY" part.... dammit... it shd have been me!!! i have been practising it in front of my computer every since the song came out... haha... but it was still cool.. i would be happy for the guy.... but he was ang mo and i was quite a strong prejudice against ang mos... haha... well.. most of them anyway... some of them are nice tho.... so can't say that all ang mos are bastards... its a sweeping statement... haha... see... i've been listening during GP lessons... haha...
i'm getting my voice back le... immediately after the concert i couldn't even talk... at least now i can speak audibly... haha...
plus... there is a extra bonus to going to the concert... i think i really worked my leg muscles to jump for nearly three hours... plus my biceps and triceps got a good workout cuz my hands were in the air for most of the three hours... haha....
after the concert, carolyn(my sis for those who don't know) called this cabbie that gave her his phone number... wah... this guy is damn cool sia... he gave her his number so that she can call him and he will come and pick us up without paying the booking charge.... damn funky... he's a damn nice guy.. i think he's my nominee for the nice guy of the month award... haha.... forget the month... the year oso can... haha...
well anyway... i'm really sleepy right now... so i'll sign off here...
nitez dude and dudettes....

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

It's going down tonight at the Pandang

today's finally the day of the concert... already my day is not going as planned...
i was supposed to go for fitness training this morning but i overslept... i woke up like 2 hrs after the training is supposed to start.... dammit... i think i'll be owing fawwaz one fitness session... haha...
hopefullly the rest of the day will not be as bad as how it started... haha...
i'm meeting boon at bout 3 at city hall MRT station... and it is 1 o'clock now.... AND I"M STILL WRITING A POST FOR MY BLOG!!!! haha... well i suppose i can make it in time so no worries mate... man... we're gonna go there like 4 hrs before the concert... super early so that we can get good spots....
it is really very exciting... i'm gonna see LP in the flesh... i'm not some kinda crazy maniac that idolises them... but it is still very cool to see an international band of their calibre performing live in s'pore... haha... maybe they'll take their "Live in Texas" album off the shelves and start selling their new album... "Live in Singapore"... haha... another one of my impossible dreams to add to the ones already on my blog... haha...
well... i better go get ready.. or else i'll be late....
c ya after the concert....

Saturday, June 19, 2004

wierd dreams

i had this dream last night.... i was playing as the nanyang no.9 on the nanyang field... it was the last game of the group stages and we needed to win the game to get into the semi's.... it was against JJC... we played the game up to the last 15 mins without any score... then in the last min of play... we won a scrum 5m out frm their try line.... fawwaz's leg cramped up just as i was about to send out the ball... since the forwards were all involved in the scrum i had to take the ball to the line myself... as i ran to the line i saw two guys heading towards me.... this is when my matrix dream mode kicked in...
i side stepped the first guy and spun ard the second guys challenge all in super slo-mo...
then i dived for the line... and touched the ball down for the winning try...
the sch went wild in the grand stand as i celebrated the try.... and we were in the top 4.... that wasn't the end of the dream... after making it thru to the semis... we scrapped past a mediocre SA side to get into the finals.... as if making it into the semis wasn't enough fantasy for one night, now we were finalists...
then after an inspired speach to the team about how we have made it so far and how we have made nanyang history... we went out onto the field... after the first half... the score was still 0-0... then in historic fashion... lightning struck twice... i scored in late in the second half to put us up 7-0 after fawwaz converted... then the final whistle blew... my dream self knelt down onto the field and cried tears of joy as the whole sch rushed down frm the stands at the PA to congratulate us...
wow... what a dream... i can't even begin to imagine the emotion if that really happened to us... wow...
hey... i know how almost impossible it is... i'm not being pessimistic or sumting... just realistic....
but it's my dream... don't burst my bubble lah...
impossible is nothing....